Hot Tea
by LePetitPappillon
Summary: A love story with the pairing Austria/Hungary
1. Chapter 1

"Hungary! Where are you?"

I was sitting in my room, brushing my hair at my vanity. I had stopped a moment, absorbed in the stains in my apron, which was once new and actually quite lovely, but due to every day's work, become dirty and sullen.

"I'm sorry, sir!"

I made my way to the kitchen, picking up the boiling water from the stove and beginning to prepare his tea, which was now officially late. I placed it on the silver platter that I brought to him everyday and made my way to the room he was always in at that time of day.

I opened the door.

"I'm sorry sir! I was…distracted…It won't happen again."

Austria didn't seem to acknowledge me, so I continued on my way to the desk we was placed at and put his tea in front of him. He seemed to be looking over some papers. I didn't bother figuring out what they were. He looked up at me a moment and I felt a shiver pass through my spine.

"…I'll go now, if you have nothing to say…" I tried walking away. My wrist was caught in his grip. It wasn't rough, but enough to shock me.

"…Wait. Sit down, won't you?"

I took a seat across from him after pulling up a chair, my heart beginning to accelerate. He only asked to talk to me when I had down something horribly wrong, and he was such a precise man, it could have been anything.

Instead of speaking, he continued reading over the papers that were pressed to the desk, as if I had actually been aloud to leave. He bit down upon his lower lip a few times, sometimes even sticking his tongue out of his mouth.

"…Do you need my help, sir?" I asked.

"Yes, actually…" He said. "…You like music, don't you Hungary?" I found it surprising he even asked. I had been there for so long, and every time I could I tried to hear him play that piano…It was always so lovely.

"Yes. I do."

Again, he seemed to think a very long moment. I sat there, patient. It seemed he was in too much of a quandary to even be angry at me for being late. I looked down at my apron, brushing it out a bit, and then back to him. He was looking straight at me.

"…Can you read notes?"

"…No, sir…I never learned…"

"Well…You can at least tell me if sounds any good…" He removed the first sheet of paper from the top of the small pile, and placed at the bottom, revealing sheet music. I was becoming less nervous.

He stood up, the curl in his hair bounding a bit. I found it funny that he spent so much time keeping it in order, and he left that one stand of hair. It was probably untamable…

Austria sat at the piano, which was one of many, and placed the sheets before him. He lifted the cover and brushed off a few of the keys. I knew he would ask me to clean it for him once he was finished.

Within a few moments, he was pressing the keys softly, pretty little noises coming out and forming a melody. As the song progressed, the notes became louder and more intense and so very full of feeling. There was another thing that surprised me about him. He was so cold and reserved, but when he played it was like opening up to an entire sea of emotion.

He stopped and looked back to me.

"…Oh…umm…I'm sorry. It was so good I couldn't find anything wrong with it…" I managed to smile. How stupid I must have looked. "…Did you write it yourself?"

"Yes. Believe it or not, I actually have hobbies…"

I think he was making a joke.

"…It's okay if you laugh." Austria actually looked offended a moment.

And I did.

He gave me a look as if he found me idiotic and somewhat adorable at the same time. "…Please dust this off, Hungary." He stood up and left the room. I only sighed.

I had been there such a long time, and it seemed like he didn't even want to get to know me. Of course, I was juts a maid…but when you see everyone everyday, it would be nice to think you become closer to them, regardless of rank, but I wasn't in any place to complain…

I began wiping off the piano, ugly noise coming from it. It wasn't the same instrument when I touched it. For a moment, I stopped, sat down and stared at the keys. I let my fingers press to them gently, and so very quietly I began to play a song I made up on the spot. Naturally, it was nothing like his…

"Hungary! What are you doing?" Italy was standing by the door, holding a miniature broom made especially for him. I waved him over. He came in quietly, knowing I was probably doing something I shouldn't have been. "Can I sit with you?"

"Of course, If I get caught, I'll already be in trouble…I'll just take the blame, alright?" I picked up his little body and placed him on my lap, still pressing the keys.

"Can I play too?"

"Yes, you just have to be quiet…"

"Okay!" His little fingers began pounding on the keys, and before he could make more noise, I lifted his arms by the wrists.

"Shh! Do you want us both to be thrown into the cellar? Here…like this…" I touched his hands to the instrument. "See?"

"Oh…I get it…"

We played softly together a while, then Italy asked to be let down.

"Thank you! But I have to go do chores now…"

"Alright…Don't work too hard…" I told him. How sorry I felt for him…he was so young and forced into a life of only work. I was amazed that he could keep such a bright outlook on his life, considered how often I felt depressed…

As he left, Austria re-entered the room, looking at me. Luckily, I wasn't touching the keys. It would seem I was just drifting away in my own thoughts. He looked at me questionably a moment, and without any words, I stood up.

"…I'm sorry, Sir…Your piano is clean now…I'll be going…" Before he could stop me, I brushed past him and walked down the hall towards my room…I had such mixed feelings about him…it was hard to tell if I would be punished later for this, but I didn't stop walking. I always found it worse when he had nothing to say to me. How I hated it when those lovely eyes said everything for him…


	2. Chapter 2

"Hungary!"

I was being called yet again, and I could only assume it was regarding the piano yesterday. Luckily, today I was on time with most of my chores, so whatever punishments I would be assigned wouldn't be so harsh.

I went to him. Today he was in a different room, one with boxes piled upon each other in rows. It was a mess. A little light shown in from a high window, but not much, considering it was snowing.

I walked in further. "Yes, sir?" I was shivering to the point my teeth chattered together. "Do you want me to clean this room?"

"No, no…I don't. It would take you hours. I had something I wanted to give you."

Blood rushed to my face. "Thank you…"

"…It's nothing. Help me look for it."

"Of course…but what are we looking for?" The cold was already affecting me.

"It's a coat…It's quite old, but it looks just store-bought…I'm sure…"

"…Oh, well, what color is it?"

"It's light blue with white rabbit's fur…You'll know it as soon as you see it." Austria removed a large wooden box sitting on top of one of the stacks and put it on the floor, opening it. His hands sorted through the items inside, and I watched, soon enough mimicking him.

It was amazing the number of nice things he has stored away. I found dresses and expensive looking men's clothes, along with some jewelry. There was also a small bag of coins, which regrettably, I tossed aside.

He stopped midway through a container. "Where did I put that damn thing? I know it's here…"

"…Well…we've only looked through about half things…I'm sure it's here…"

He sighed, and I took up another set of items, opened the lid and removed the contents inside. I wanted to sigh myself.

In the box I was in, there was another box, this one made of thick paper which looked like it should have been decorated with a painting. It was wrapped in plain red ribbon and tied into a little bow near the center of the box. I didn't bother asking permission to tear it away. I removed the lid, reveling pastel colored blue fabric and white fur covering it in squares. I took out the coat and looked over it as it unfurled.

"Oh! Austria! Is this it?"

"…You've found it…" He actually looked somewhat surprised.

I admired the golden buttons lining the coat from top to bottom in rows. They had little insignias engraved into them. I dragged a finger over one. I touched the fur as well, which was soft. The sleeves and neck were thick with it, and the pastel blue fabric was of such a high quality, I couldn't describe it. I almost had tears welling up in my eyes.

"You like it, don't you?" he asked. He actually looked worried about my opinion of the coat.

"Yes! Of course!" I wiped my nose with a free hand. It was cold and the fact I was about to cry wasn't helping.

"Please, try it on." There was a kind look upon hid face.

I opened the buttons then draped it over me, stuffing my arms through the sleeves and pulling the coat around me. I fastened the buttons once again then smoothed it over with my hands, which were shaking.

Austria came closer to me, touching the garment himself. His palm ran down my arm.

"I wasn't sure if it would fit you, but it looks like it's been tailored for you…" he touched the fluff before my neck and offered me a little smile.

I only wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I knew I couldn't. I only diverted my eyes and smiled back.

"I've never been given anything so nice…" I told him, touching the fabric for myself.

He said nothing, only kept looking at me with his hand on the fur. I was beginning to feel warmer.

"I'm sorry." He took his hand away. "I'm glad you like it. It's yours…If you'll excuse me, I have to do some chores of my own…"

"Thank you!" I said as he turned away form me. He stopped, looking back to me.

"It's really nothing…I'm just glad someone can use it…" he left me and I wiped my eyes.

Naturally, people took notice of me. I was wearing a splendid coat, and compared to my normal rags, it must have looked like someone polished a coming rock until it turned into a sapphire. But of course, I put it away. There was no reason to wear it inside. Most of the house was kept warm.

I removed it from my shoulders and put it into a folded pile on top of my bedspread. I looked down and my apron and plain green dress. My shoes were so old and beaten. I then glanced at my face in the mirror. My hair was askew and my face was somewhat dirty. This coat was out of place…For a moment, I felt it should belong to someone else. Someone who could make it look like it was worthy of being worn. I had forgotten my place as a maid. It would be stupid of me to wear such a magnificent thing…

I turned my attention to the door. Shinsei-Romo was standing there, staring at e. As soon as our eyes caught each others, his face turned rosy.

"What is it?" I asked softly. "Do you need help with something?"

Without any warning or permission, he stepped into my room, not saying anything at first. He cleared his throat. The most adult child I had ever seen…

"You got a new coat, didn't you?"

"Yes…I did…" I was wondering if Austria sent him to get it back.

"May I see it?" He face was turning redder with blush.

I took it from my bed and held it up to him, the folds becoming undone. "It's nice isn't it?" I said. "Austria gave it me…"

"…Why?" He asked. "He never gives anyone anything…"

"I'm not sure…" He looked to be upset, for whatever reason. "I know how to make clothes…If you want something like this I could-"

"No. I don't want any clothes." He said shortly. "I just don't understand it."

I had nothing to say to him, I returned to folding it up and he watched. I placed it back on my bed and he stood there a while before simply leaving.

It occurred to me that I should give it back…the coat was so wonderful, and for a servant to have it would only cause jealously, especially considering no one else had gotten one. Despite the fact it was old, it looked new, and its age could only add more value…I didn't want everyone to be horrible jealous…and that was bond to happen if I wore it…So why let it rot in my closet?

At ten the next day, I brought it back draped over my arm while carrying his silver tray with my other hand. He looked up at me, confused. I placed the tray before him and hesitated a moment.

"…I don't think I should have this anymore, Sir…" I said. "…I think…it doesn't really suit me…"

"That's nonsense, Hungary…anyone can wear a coat."

"…But…" I trailed off. "…I think it would be best if you have it back…People will be jealous-"

"So what?" He was becoming upset with me. "Let them be. It's still yours, and you look fine in it…Just…clean up a bit and it won't look out of place…" He looked over some papers sitting before him, as if I had left, but then his gaze went back to me. "…You need a coat, don't you? Your other one was falling apart, and it's getting to be incredibly cold out…consider it an early Christmas present…"

"…I'm sorry…" I said. "…I wasn't trying to be rude…I just…"

"It doesn't matter. It's your coat…" He repeated. "…they'll get over their jealousy, and if they want one, they can buy one like it…" Austria took the tea from the platter and took a sip.

"…But why did you give to me?" I asked.

"…Because…" He took another drink and put the tea back onto the tray. "…I wanted you to have something nice…That's what friends do for one another…Don't they?"

"You consider us friends?" I covered my mouth as soon as the words came out. "…I'm sorry…I just didn't think…"

He looked back to his papers, ignoring me then bit softly onto his bottom lip. Austria removed his glasses, wiping the lenses on his blouse.

"…I'll go now." At that I left, upset at my own stupidity.


	3. Chapter 3

The news Austria had given me was somewhat unsettling, but in a good way. I was happy he considered me his friend…but it bothered me that he never treated me much like a friend. Of course, the coat was wonderful…but friendship isn't all about fancy presents and anger when you're not there at twelve sharp.

I was in the garden, wearing my new coat which almost depressed me. I knew with my work it would only become ragged.

I cleared the snow from the plants, my knees in the snow. I had a new pair of gloves on I had sewn myself form an old piece of leather.

"Hungary…what are you doing?"

"Oh, hello, Italy…Are you on your break?"

The little reddish-brown haired boy was dressed in a shabby over coat and little boots. He had no gloves on, his bear fingers turning pink due to the cold. He still looked happy, despite his appearance.

"Yes, I am…" He said, and then shivered. "It sure is cold outside today…"

I stood up and walked towards him, picking him a moment. He was small…it was easy holding him. "Why don't you go inside? It's very cold out and without gloves, you'll get frost bite."

"Oh…I had gloves, but they were full of holes…I thought it would be better just not to wear them…"

Looking at him up close, I could see how very old and tattered the coat he was wearing was. There were holes all through out, and I could see his normal clothes through it. In some areas, the fabric was so thin it was like he was wearing no coat at all, and the buttons were rusting. The boots he had on his little feet had an empty space near the toe and his little wool sock was wet from melted snow. He deserved this coat more than I did…if only there was something in his size…

The little Italian boy sneezed, and I felt myself begin to panic. "…Oh, you poor thing…You have to go in right now and take a hot bath…I'll meet you there in a moment to take care of you…I just have to finish this up first, alright?"

"Oh…sure…" His little nose was red, as were his cheeks. I let him down and he ran inside, listening to what I had said. It was sometimes painful to watch him.

I went back to clearing the snow from the leaves and made sure I did it correctly, but quickly so I wouldn't be sitting out here again today. As soon as the little garden was done, I looked back at the trees, knowing I couldn't get back in time. I decided to go back to them later, and went inside, seeing Italy near the door.

"Come on…" I leaned over, beginning to untie his shoe laces. It wouldn't have mattered. I probably could have slipped his shoes off; they were so ill-fitted… One his boots were off, I removed his socks, which I knew would only make him sicker faster. I remembered them…I had made these for him...They were already laced with holes. The little rabbits I had sewn in weren't rabbits any longer.

"Oh, goodness…" I rolled them up and tucked them away in my coat pocket. "I'll knit you knew socks…" I took him from the floor and walked with him outside, where I could wash him. Perhaps I could make the water hot enough to where it wouldn't matter if we were in the snow.

Once we were there, I looked around. There was no one. Who bathed in the middle of the day? I slid a smaller wash-basin to the center of the area, which was all dirt. I put him down…he was still shivering, so I removed my coat and despite the biting temperature.

"Here. Don't remove this until I tell you to…"

He didn't say anything, only wrapped it around him like a blanket, teeth chattering.

I began to pump the water until it became warm, and then filled up the small tub to the brim. Italy walked over, still cold and I took my coat form him. Quickly, I removed his clothes and popped him inside. He didn't seem to be so chilled anymore. A bit of steam rose form the water, and I sighed with relief.

"…Good..." I put my coat back on and briskly began scrubbing him down with the cloth that had drifted to the top of the water when I had filled the tub. I made especially sure to wash his face and hair.

Occasionally, I looked back to our mansion. Austria always seemed to pop up during the worst of times, and I knew he would be unhappy if I had stopped working simply to wash Italy.

"Hungary! I'm not so cold anymore!" He was wearing the cloth over his head and smiling at me. I gave him a little kiss on the cheek, and was kissed in return.

Once I had let him soak a while, I looked back at our home. "…You stay right here." I told him. "…I'm going to be back with a towel and then I'll take you back in…whatever you do, don't get out of this tub…"

"I won't!" He said, leaning against the side of the basin. A little water spilled onto the dirt, and I rushed back into my prison.

When I returned, there were two figures standing where I just was. One was Italy, who was nude and shaking, the other a man in blue.

"No!"

As soon as I came back, I wrapped him in a towel, holding him close to keep him warm in my body heat, despite the fact he was soaked. He was back to shivering, even more than he was previously.

"How could you?!" I yelled to my master. "He could freeze to death!"

"Hungary…Why did you do this?" He asked me. "…I had assigned you a chore…It's not done."

"Who cares?!" I shouted, looking into those cold eyes. "I would have finished! But because you can't dress this poor child, he was about to freeze to death! You need to take better care of us, because if you don't there won't be any of us left! He didn't even have gloves!" I was beginning to sound like a rabid dog would have. Before he could say anything, I rushed inside with a crying Italy in my arms.

"Hungary!" He sobbed. "I-I'm so cold!"

"I know…" I said, getting to the door and opening it. I looked back at Austria, who was simply staring at me. I knew I would be in trouble for this…but it was for Italy…

I went straight to his room, removing his towel and beginning to wipe him down with it, the child wailing the entire time. As soon as he was dry, I dressed him and removed my own soaked coat, letting it droop to the floor. I sat on his bed with him, finding his brush and combing out his hair, which was still somewhat wet. Finally, he was beginning to calm down.

"…I'm so sorry…" I told him. "…This is all my fault…Don't go outside like that again, okay? I'll make you some clothes but until then, you can't go in the snow, even if Austria says so…"

"A-alright…" I gave him a little kiss and held him even tighter, his damp hair wetting another layer of my clothing, but I didn't care.

Eventually, he had fallen asleep, and I put him to bed, covering him in another blanket over his sheets, and sitting next to him as he slept away. He face was finally starting to turn back to normal, not the pink it was when he was crying or freezing…wither way, it was a good sign…

Silently, the door opened and the man in blue walked in, looking down at me. I didn't look back, but I could feel him staring. He always did this when he was upset with me, which seemed to be often.

I thought it would be best to apologize…

"…Austria I-"

"I don't want to hear it." He told me. His voice was harsher than the storm roaring outside.

"…Fine. I won't say it then." I was just as upset. We were still speaking softly, but the intensity was just as evident as it ever had been.

"Where do you think you are, Hungary?"

'Hell.' I wanted to say, but instead I didn't answer.

"Where are you?!" Austria yelled.

"…I'm in your mansion, sir…"

"That's right, and what does that mean?"

"…I listen to you…" I just about wanted to scream. "… And anyone who isn't below me…"

"That's right. So, what have you done wrong, Hungary? Can you tell me that?"

"…I've disobeyed you…I didn't ask your permission to use the water…I didn't finish a chore…I took care of someone who needed it…" The last sentence was whispered so lowly, he couldn't have picked it up.

"What was that last thing?" I could tell he wanted to beat me.

"Nothing, sir...I'm simply talking to myself…"

"Come with me…" He said, his voice becoming lower.

I stood up, looking back to Italy. He was sleeping so peacefully. It was as if there was no one fighting in his room…

My arm was grasped tightly, and I was dragged off, tears leaking from my eyes. "Don't get sick alright, Italy…"

We went down many corridors, and finally to a room that even had a bad feeling to it…he opened the door.

"Get in. I'll let you out when I see fit."

I looked into the room, my tears fading. I didn't go in, I only looked at him. "…Is this how you treat all of your friends?" I asked. "It's not a wonder why you have so few…or have you forgotten what you've said to me? Perhaps so…I hope you sleep well tonight." I walked in, watching the door slam before me. No more words were said. I only leaned against the door in the dark room, looking up at the ceiling, if I could even see it…


	4. Chapter 4

There I was, sitting in this cold, dark room with no coat. I could feel my already dirty dress becoming even dirtier, and tears stained my face. My apron was wet from Italy's hair, so I had taken it off and had it bunched up in my lap. My body was leaned against the porthole, my eyes closed.

The door opened, and I feel backward slightly. I had been in there at least a few hours. It was difficult to keep track of time with no clocks. Maybe it was even the next day…

The person who has opened the door wasn't Austria, but another maid. "…Hungary…You poor thing…I heard the entire story."

"…I know…" I stood up and brushed away the excess dirt. "…It's odd who that man calls his friends. The slave driver…"

"Well…he wants to see you. I think you should go before he tells me to lock you back up again…"

"Right…Thanks…"

I already knew where he was. That filthy man was sitting in his room, playing his piano until his fingers fell off…that's what he always did when he was being difficult. As if we were the ones pouring into his great sea of troubles…

I arrived, hearing no music as I expected to. I didn't bother with knocking, only opened the door to see a darkened room and Austria sitting at his piano, fingers deep in his hair. It was as if someone had sculpted him with a headache, since he didn't move. I walked closer, looking at him. He still didn't move in the least.

"You wanted to talk to me. What did you want to say? I honestly don't ever want to look at you again, so if we could make this quick, I would appreciate it highly. That way I could go back to cleaning your ridiculously large home. I'll be trying not to break every sculpture and scribble in ink on all of your boring paintings…" I didn't even concern myself with being locked away again. I would rather have my dignity, what little was left.

"…I'm sorry." He said. Austria actually looked at me, his eyes not so very harsh. His pretty little lips were formed into a frown, but he didn't seem to be angry anymore.

"…What?" I said. It was shocking he wasn't demanding an apology, but giving one.

"…I'm sorry…You're right. I shouldn't be so cruel to you…" His hands went back to being implanted into his thick locks. He looked so lovely, even if I was still thoroughly angered.

I didn't even talk. Instead, I placed myself on the bench next to him, looking down at the keys. "…I'll forgive you if you buy Italy some new clothes…he needs a decent coat and shoes…I'll make him gloves…but you can't let him work in the snow like that…"

"…Consider it done…" He said. Austria turned to me, our eyes exchanging glances. "...I…I know it seems strange to hear me say things like this…but…I couldn't stand myself if you hated me…so…" he looked away, and back to the piano. "Please don't…"

"…I won't…but Austria, we're people too…I know we're just servants…but we're alive…we suffer just as much, if not even more than you do." I said. "We don't have the same problems, I know…but dammit…" I couldn't even continue. I just looked at the black and white stripes lining his instrument.

I looked to him a moment, my mouth tightly shut. We stared at each other, and all in a few seconds, he took me into his arms. I was still filthy and even somewhat wet, but he didn't stop…I hugged him back.

"…I'm sorry…" He said. One of his gloved hands traced through my hair a bit. "…My anger got the better of me…"

"I know…"

He let go and went back to staring at the keys. "…You can get clean, if you like…and you can replace your clothes too. I'll have those washed."

"…Thank you…" His fingers were sitting next to me, and I put my hand on top of his, gently. I was still mildly upset, but I was happy with him in the regards he apologized…and Italy would finally have something decent to wear...

That night, I cleaned myself roughly, getting all the dirt off, and I changed into one of my few pairs of pajamas. I then sat in front of my vanity, my face reflected in the mirror. Damp hair hung from my head in long stands that weren't as wavy as they normally were…I sighed and went to bed shortly after that.

The next morning, the first place I went (without even changing from my pajamas) was Italy's room. He was sleeping peacefully. The coat was still in the same place it was yesterday, and it seemed like he hadn't gotten up. The boy sat up, wiping his eyes and yawning. His eyes opened.

"…Oh…hello…" He proceeded picking the sleep from his eyes.

I sat on my knees next to his little bed and wrapped my arms around him. "It's so good to now you're okay...I thought you would be sick…" My palm pressed to Italy's forehead and everything felt normal. I kissed his cheek and cleared some hair from his face. "…Austria's going to get you a new coat…" I told him. "…And new boots even…Aren't you excited?"

"He is?" There was a smile on his face. "…Do I even get to choose it myself?"

"…I don't know about that, but you're getting a new coat for sure…" I placed another kiss upon his forehead. "…Come on…let's get some breakfast…"

We walked to the kitchen in our sleeping clothes. When we arrived the place was busy making breakfast for Austria. Usually, I would be involve din this tangled mess, but I had already decided I would give myself a sort break today.

"Hungary! There you are! He came in here looking for you…" the woman speaking stopped what she was doing; only looking at me. "…I don't think he was angry, but he wanted to see you immediately. I think you should go..."

"In my pajamas?"

"Better than not at all…"

So, we made our way to his dining room, which was probably the most over done room in the entirety of the mansion. There was a chandelier hanging above the table, and the ceiling itself was so high up, it was like looking up at the sky…There were paintings on the ceiling. They were commissioned before the place was built. The walls were lined with windows, all of them showing off soft light, as they always did in the morning. The table itself was ridiculous…it filled the entire room, which in itself was gigantic, and most times, (almost all times…) there was only one person who sat there, who was there now, at the other end.

"…Why are you dressed in your pajamas?" I think he asked.

"What?!" I called. He simply waved me over.

Once I was facing him, he pulled out a chair for me, and I sat down, then he asked again, "Why are you in your pajamas?"

"…I'm sorry, sir…I've just woken up…I went to go get Italy, and then we were told you wanted to see me."

The little Italian boy was in my lap, looking around the room. "…Wow…It's so big in here…"

"…Well, it's better you brought him anyway…" Austria said. "…Italy…" He was actually speaking gently. "…You're coming with me into town today. I'm buying you some clothes." He turned his attention to me. "Oh, yes, you're coming." He put simply. "You need some new clothing too…"

"Really?" I asked. "…Thank you…"

Before he could respond, the door opened wide and maids came in, carrying all sorts of food. I wondered if he planned on eating it all himself, but before I could ask, there were two plates placed before me, one for Italy and myself.

"Oh look! Food!" The boy in my lap was bouncing up and down on top of legs…I don't think he even realized he was doing it. I laughed. He was so cute…

"Italy, please calm down…" Austria said.

"Oh…I'm sorry…" He stopped, and looked up at me. "Sorry…"

"It's alright…"

We began eating. In my opinion, there was too much for even three people. There was enough to feed about eight, maybe more if everyone took small portions. I still took quite a bit. I hadn't eaten dinner yesterday, and I normally didn't get all too much nourishment.

Once we had finished, I wiped my mouth with the cloth napkin set before me. "Thank you, sir…That was wonderful."

"It's fine. I'm tired of eating alone anyway…Go get dressed. We'll go when you're both ready."

I nodded and stood, taking Italy with me, who had syrup and crumbs scattered around his mouth. He was dirty, but he certainly looked adorable. I took a napkin with me and began rubbing the stay food from his face.

I dressed Italy first, and then myself. We were both wearing our newer clothes. I knew Austria would be disappointed if I went out in near rags, even if my coat did cover it. But I found myself somewhat lost. Italy didn't have any coat to wear, and even if we were going to get him one, he would still have to suffer through the cold before we got to our destination…was there any one Italy sized around?

"Shinsei Roma…" He was inside his room, doing something or other. I'm really unsure what that child does all day, but he doesn't seem to have such a bad time of it.

Italy was standing next to me, and before he came to the door, the reddish haired boy opened it for him. "Shinsei Roma!"

"Oh…Italy…" His little face turned pink. "…What is it?" He was only nice to the Italian boy…

"Hungary said…that…umm…What did you say again?"

"Do you mind if I borrow a coat? Italy doesn't have one, and we're going out…"

He considered it a moment. "…I want to come…"

"That's not really up to me…You'll have to ask Austria, but I'm sure you'll be allowed to go along with us…"

At that, the blond child had nothing more to say to me. Instead, he went into his closet and took out a coat from an old looking box, and handed it to Italy. It was somewhat covered in dust, but it would do. There were no obvious holes, and it looked rather warm. It was even a pleasant color, even though it was plain. The fabric was light blue…

"Oh…Thank you, Shinsei Roma!" Italy slipped on the coat and forced the black buttons through their holes. It was a little big for him, because Shinsei Roma was a little bigger, but it fit well enough, and a little extra room wouldn't be such a problem.

"…It's…nothing…"

After the two children were ready, we met Austria near the front door. Hew looked down to the boy dressed in black. "…You don't need anything, do you?"

"I want to go with Italy…" He told him, his voice near defiant.

"There's no need to be defensive. I was just wondering why you were coming…"

I had to admire Austria. He was dressed in a thick black overcoat, and the entire thing was fur…It looked so wonderful, I just wanted to wrap myself in it. His gloves were of new slick leather and it seemed that he even had new boots on. He looked so attractive; I had to focus hard on keeping my eyes to myself.

"…Is everyone ready to go?" His eyes glanced at all of us. "…Hungary, your face is bright red…you're not sick are you?"

"No, no…not at all…It's just warm in here with this on..." I lifted up my arms, my coat shifting.

He nodded and opened the door.


	5. Chapter 5

We arrived before a large clothing store. The windows were frosty, but it was easy to tell this wasn't going to be cheap…

Austria was the first one to leave our carriage, then the two little children, who seemed too absorbed in chatting to notice anything surrounding them. A hand was offered to me.

"You're coming, aren't you?"

"Of course, sir…I'm sorry." I took his glove with my own, and was helped onto the sleet. His hand was still in mine for a moment, and finally, he let go.

We all walked in together, and as soon as we hit the door, the children scattered, wanting to look at everything with their little hands.

"Hey! Come back here!" Austria scolded. They returned, looking dejected.

I looked around for myself. The store stretched for what seemed to be miles, all of which was laced with expensive fabric and precise stitches that must have been painstakingly hand sewn. I saw so many beautiful things, and we had barely stepped inside…

Austria began speaking to someone who worked in the store. He had a tape measure around his neck and looked very official for his line of work. In the mean time, I drifted off and my sight wondered to a dress on display.

It was obviously set up for winter. The sleeves and frills were thick, and some of it was covered in fur, such as the bottoms of the sleeves. The material it was made of was so very soft…I didn't touch it for too long in the worries I might rip it…The base color was a pleasant pink, but nothing too outrageous, as some pink dresses could be…

I was standing there a good couple minutes before I was called to.

"Hungary…" It was Austria. He waved me over and I followed. I knew he was going to tell me to pick something, but I could tell everything in this store would be so expensive…I would feel guilty for even wearing the clothes weeks after they had been bought.

Once I had joined him, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and we walked deeper into the store. Italy had joined hands with Shinsei Roma on one side and the shop keeper on the other.

I wondered why we were in such a place. We were here to buy a coat for Italy…and I was aware Austria's opinion of him. It wasn't this high… perhaps he just wasn't thinking, but by the looks of it, Italy would have his measurements taken and have something tailored for him…

"If you'll come with me this way…" The tailor said to the Italian boy. He followed him with Shinsei Roma following closely behind; however, we stayed in our place.

"…Sir, may I ask you something?"

"Certainly…" Austria was removing his thick black coat. He draped it over his forearm and looked to me. "…What is it?"

"…Why are we in such a place?" I didn't take my eyes from him.

"…I said I wanted to get you something too…" He looked like he wanted to laugh at me. "…I still feel bad about what I did to you yesterday…I think you should have a nice dress…and since Italy needed a coat, it would be more convenient to take care of them both at once…" Austria adjusted his glasses. "Would you rather me take you somewhere else?"

"…Yes…I'll feel guilty about wearing something so…"

"Expensive?"

"Yes…Sir…I'm only a maid…I don't have an occasion to wear anything in this store…your money would be wasted…"

I think I must have said something true, because he seemed to think a moment. "…You shouldn't worry about such things. They make all sorts of outfits here, and you can pick whatever you like. So, if you want something useful, then you can have something useful…if not, you can have the most elaborate dress you can find." He gave me a little smile.

I was shocked and nearly appalled. I was looking at the most frugal man I had ever met in my entire life. He had never been this generous! I asked him for a piece of fabric to use as a patch once and he told me to tear some from my apron!

"What is that look for?"

"…No…No, it's nothing…" I told him. "This is just…"

"What?"

"…It's not…you…"

"What? Who else could I possibly be?"

"…I don't know…" I was beginning to feel ridiculous. "…Can we just…go elsewhere? After getting Italy a coat, of course…"

"…No." He said. "…Pick something."

"…But…"

"We're not leaving until you do…Oh, and get some shoes as well…They're over there…"

"…Austria…" I whined. "…Please don't make me do this…"

"Over there…" He pointed to a wall of the store occupied my many boxes. "Or would you rather have a dress first?"

"Neither!"

"A dress? Okay. That's over here…" He was smiling at me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders again and forced me to walk towards the dresses on display. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at me. "So, which one do you like?"

"None of them!" I shouted, becoming frustrated.

"Over here?" He pointed to the most expensive section there was available, and I was lead in that direction.

Finally, he badgered me to the point of selecting one. I picked the simplest one I could possibly find. Just a plain dress with normal sleeves and absolutely no frills…

"…Goodness, woman. You can have any dress you want in the entire store, and you pick this one?" He picked up one of the sleeves, looking it over. "No. I'm not buying this for you…I saw you admiring that dress in the front…"

"I most certainly was not!" I shouted. "That's the ugliest dress I've ever seen!"

"Hmm…" He adjusted his glasses. "I'm sure you're lying to me…"

"I'm not! I was marveling over how hideous it was!"

"Really? That's not what your eyes were saying…" He smiled to me. "Come now, let's get you sized."

I protested the whole way to the back room. We waited as Italy came out, a smile on his face. He was still connected to his blonde friend.

"Well, his coat should be made within about a week. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes." Austria answered before I could even open my mouth. "I'd like to have her sized…I'm going to get her a dress."

"Please follow me, ma'am…" He said, and I obeyed, still flustered and upset.

They took me to another room, and the door was shut behind me. I was left looking at an elderly woman with a little smile on her face.

"Hello there. I'll take your measurements. Please remove your clothing."

I sighed and began sliding things off. "That stupid man!" I cursed. "How can he do this?!"

She was laughing. "What's wrong? Is he making you wear something you don't like?"

"No!" I threw my coat to the floor, having a miniscule fit. "He's buying me the most beautiful dress I've ever seen, but I don't want it! It'll cost a fortune and I told him I don't want a thing! But he's getting it for me anyway!" I slid off my green dress then stood there, fuming. "I can't even wear it! I'll ruin it as soon as I start walking around!"

She was laughing at me, as many people were that day. "Oh, dear…Most women would complain of not getting the dress they wanted…" She brushed a tear from her eye, and continued speaking through repressed laughter. "How silly." The woman came towards me and started measuring certain parts of my body, still giggling.

Once everything was written down, I put my clothes on, still slightly upset, but not to the extent of what I was. I was able to leave, and I found Austria waiting for me, that same idiotic smile written all over his lips.

"So, how did it go?"

"It was god-awful and all of it is completely your fault."

"Well, luckily we can go home now." He said. "I showed him the dress you want. It should be ready soon."

"I don't want it!"

He only laughed at me, walking towards the door. I managed a small laugh myself, but I refused to let him hear it.

We boarded the carriage and went home, Italy sleeping on my lap the entire way there. Austria was looking at me, and I was looking away. I was secretly happy, but still somewhat distressed. Dresses on display in the front of any store were always most expensive and it bothered me I couldn't do anything of the same caliber for him…


	6. Chapter 6

I had decided that even if I couldn't buy him something, I would certainly make him something. It might take a while, but I would certainly have it done before the end of the month, even if everyday was packed to the brim with chores.

Unfortunately, I wanted to make it a surprise…so, I couldn't simply ask him what he wanted. I had to watch and see if there was anything he needed…or maybe even something he liked…

There was music…

I began observing him, knowing if I got caught I would get in trouble…or at least a slap on the wrist…

It all clicked together when I watched him take his shoes off. He was coming from the cold. He forced one show off, then the other, and I noticed his socks. They had holes in the toes and his poor feet were pink and looked like they could have been numb…

He sighed, beginning to talk to him. "That's another pair…" He removed them and rolled them up, placing them in his coat pocket, probably going to toss the in the trash when one was available. I gasped, but quietly, so he wouldn't detect me.

I headed back quickly to my room, opening the chest I had kept under my bed. It had a few belongings inside it, but nothing of major importance, only things that didn't have much of a place. Inside this box was my yarn, which usually had two knitting needles coming from the clumps of the string. I searched through all the colors. What would he possibly like? There was black…and white. I was reminding of his piano…These were fine colors.

I placed the white and black yearn on my bed then went looking for my needles, which were long and painted bright orange. I adored them, even though they seemed to be incredibly tacky. I found one coming form the yellow tangle of yarn, and the other inside the purple. I placed these on top of my sheets next.

Next, I placed myself on my bed, beginning to work compulsively with the yarn and my oddly colored knitting needles. Eve if I was working at my fastest, I was being careful and all of my passions went into the start of these socks…I already loved them.

I only got one a third of the way done before I was called to do chores once again…

When I was sweeping or dusting, or doing whatever I was demanded of, I was thinking of those socks…I was putting little musical notes all over them, and I kept envisioning the time when they were finally done and I could present them to him…

It was always a happy, and he was sitting at his piano, writing a song or playing one...the scenario changed between visions…and I came up with my tea, but instead of having only the tea cup and the tea kettle, thee were my perfect little socks, each knit lovely. He would look at me, smile, say some words, and give me a warm hug, maybe even a kiss on the cheek. It always made me even more motivated to finish them…

Each day, I would work with them a little more and more, and each day I grew less willing to part with them…but I knew that they were his…

Finally, they were done. Black with white musical notes littering them…they were difficult to put together, but I was so very proud of myself. I grew excited for the next day when I would give them up for a better purpose…

I did exactly what I imaged. I placed the socks very precisely next to one another on the silver platter, right next to the tea. My heart began racing…Would he like them? Perhaps he would find it disgusting that they shared a place with his drink…considering they go on your feet…

"Hungary! Where are you?!" He called from inside the door. I was late…and he sounded upset. Walking in, I couldn't keep him waiting any longer.

He was placed at his desk, scribing on something wildly, and crumpling it up, throwing it away in the bin next to his feet. He let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his dark hair…

I let the tea down near him, and he looked up at me. I offered him a smile, but he didn't smile back. His attention went back to the papers before him. I waited, but he didn't notice them…

"Excuse me…"

"What?" He sounded annoyed. "Do you want something?"

"Please…Drink some tea, won't you?"

"What?" He looked at the tray and his eyes looked less angry and more surprised. "…Where the hell did you get these?" He demanded. "I don't recall ever giving you any money to buy socks with."

"…I made them." My voice was growing quiet. "…I saw that you needed some socks…so…I made them for you…"

"…Well, thank you…" He said, putting them down and returning to work. I continued standing there, and seeing he wasn't going to say anything else, I left.

I returned to my room, crying. I know he didn't realize how much work and love went into those socks…but he could have at least tried them on…perhaps he would say something the next day…He seemed to be in a bad mood, and maybe he would have more to say later.

So, I waited the next day…Nothing…

And the next…

And the next…

And the next…

Perhaps he didn't feel bad about not being all too grateful, but maybe he was at least using them…

When he left at the end of the week, as he often did, I waited for his return. He always removed his shoes by the front door…

After a while, he did some back, and removed his shoes, just as I knew he would…but…there were only plain white socks. No musical notes…they didn't even look like they were made out of yarn…

I walked away frustrated, not caring who saw me. How could he?!

I brought him his tea the next morning, knowing I would be angry. I could barely contain my feelings…Slamming the platter on the table, my chest puffed in and out…

I shocked him.

"…What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?! I hand made those socks! You aren't even using them!" I was speaking with my hands and tears were leaking from my eyes. "Do you even know how long those damn things took?! And you just…" I started sobbing, loosing control of even my words now…

"…Hungary…"

"No…I-I…"

I felt him take me into his arms. "…Hungary, I think you should see something…" He took my hand and led me off somewhere. I wouldn't see where I was going, but Austria seemed anxious to get there.

Once we arrived, he opened the door for me and took me in.

"Hungary…please calm down…" His voice was so soft. "You have to look at something…"

I wiped my eyes and looked at where I was. We were standing in the center of his room, and right above his bed were my socks. They had been pined to wall.

"I love them…Which is why I can't possibly wear them…" He told me. "I want to keep them for as long as I can…so I put them here…" He pointed to them. "Now I can see them everyday…"

"…Oh…" I began crying even more intensely. I walked away from him, sitting on his bed. He joined me, embracing me. "Please don't cry…Why is there even a reason to?" His hand traced over my back. "I would have been upset too…I just didn't know you were…"

"I'm sorry…"

"It's fine…"

When I had finally calmed, I looked at him. "…Austria…I'm so sorry…It was wrong of me to be upset at you...I always get mad at you for the stupidest of reasons…I'm sorry…"

"I told you, its' fine…" I was kissed on the cheek. "Goodness…what is it with you? Even accepting an apology is difficult…" He smiled at me. "…Like I said, I would have been upset too…please don't cry anymore…" He removed a tear for me. "You're upsetting me now…"

I sniffed, wiping my nose with my sleeve. "I'm sorry…I know I'm difficult…"

"Yes, you are…" He kissed my other cheek this time. I felt as if I would pass out. "But I forgive you…so go clean something, okay?"

I laughed. "…Alright…" My body dragged itself to the door, but I stopped before going out…

Quickly, I walked to him, kissed his cheek and ran away, as if I had just stolen his most prized possession. I only wish I could have seen his expression…


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up in the morning with a fancy looking package at my feet. It was wrapped in brown durable paper and tied with plain white string. There was a note attached.

I sat up and took the tan mass my arms, and removed the parchment attached to it. It read:

'Please wear this today.'

I folded the note and began to untie the white string, the stands going everywhere. I tossed them to the floor. I knew what it was. I was far too excited to care about making a small mess.

I tore away the paper, taking the innards into my arms and holding it tightly to me. It felt so wonderful…I didn't even want to image what he paid for this, but it was here and mine...

I sprang out of bed, nearly ripping my pajamas getting them over my head. I began unlacing the strings in the back of my new dress, and once it was loose enough, I slipped into it, smiling the entire time. It was the most amazing thing I had ever worn. I twirled around, looking at my reflection in the mirror. Pink was a great change to my constant green and I felt so incredibly gorgeous in this dress…

The next thing on was my tights, and instead of wearing my normal beaten up shoes, I selected a newer pair. They weren't any nicer, but they certainly did better than those old tattered things…

I came out of my room to see Italy standing there, looking up at me, his face illuminated.

"…You're so pretty…" He was clearly in awe. "…Wow…"

I took notice to the coat he was wearing. It was brand new…but it looked exactly like the one he had borrowed from Shinsei Roma…I laughed. How silly this child was.

"Come on. Let's go show Austria!" Italy was swept up and held close to me, and we made our way down the hall. He was giggling the entire way there.

We arrived in our master's work room to find him sitting at the piano, pressing keys softly with his graceful fingers. He was so absorbed in his music, he didn't notice us. I didn't mind, I watched as he swung with his own tune. I had never seen him so serine…

But the kind of song he was playing was odd compared to his normal songs. This one sounded like it should accompany a deeply thought out romance novel…it was still lovely, and I was happy he found a change in music…

He stopped and looked at us, his hair slightly ruined. It only made him look more attractive than he usually was. Unfortunately, he fixed it.

Austria didn't say anything to either of us, only stared. His eyes were wide open, deep blue pupils focused in one place. His soft well composed lips were agape, but only by a bit. Finally, his amazement broke, and his eyes grew gentle.

"Hungary, come here…" I walked to him, Italy squirming a bit. I set him down and gave all of my attention to the man before me. His fingers brushed past the pink of my dress, and he looked up at me. A smile traced his lips, and I mirrored his smile with one of my own. He took my hand, looking at the sleeve. He stroked it, ending at my wrist. Our hands held each others a moment…but he stopped as soon as he realized what he was doing…

"…Austria…" I said softly. "…Thank you…I love it…"

"It's no problem…" His eyes were full of me. "…This looks wonderful on you…"

"Hungary! Will you make me breakfast?" Italy was pulling on the hem of my dress, only catching a few of the frills in his little hands.

"Yes, little one." I told him.

"Eat breakfast with me…I came here first thing…I wanted to play my piano…"

"Thank you…" I looked to Austria.

We all moved to the dining room, where Shinsei Roma was sitting drawing something or other. He turned pink as soon as Italy came in. I don't think he expected us to leak in, because he tried to get up and run.

"Where are you going? Sit down." The man in blue commanded. He stayed were he was. "We're all eating breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Oh…yes…"

We all crowded around him, Italy taking a seat directly to his right, and Austria sitting at the head of the table, as he normally did. I sat next to him on the opposite side.

All through out breakfast, I caught Austria casting glances at me. I felt so odd. He had never given me this much attention, but I wasn't about to complain. I liked having his eyes on me…It made me feel like I was actually lovely…I always looked so plain, but now…

The two children left early, since they had finished first. I stayed behind with the man who bought me this dress. I was surprised he didn't even notice Italy had spent his money on something he already had…Perhaps it was a good thing.

"…Hungary…You don't have to work today…"

I giggled. "I should wear this dress more often…if that's what it means…"

He smiled a bit then put a bit of strawberry into his mouth. "I wouldn't complain…" It was as if he had said it to himself.

I was finished with my meal, so I waited patiently.

"…Would you like to go out today?"

"Why ever would we do that?" I asked.

"Because, I'm compelled to buy you things…"

"That's ridiculous! You're not buying me anything more!"

"Why not?" He asked. "It's my money and I'll do with it as I please…"

"…Can't we just have poor people fun?"

"Poor people fun?"

"Yes, like…building a snowman…or hitting Shinsei Roma with snowballs…" I looked back at my dress. "…Or making a snow angel…or even decorating a Christmas tree…all of those things are free…"

"Well…" he seemed to be deep in thought. "…Those things could be fun…" There was a slight frown across his lips.

"Especially smacking some kids with snowballs…" I smiled to him. "…Come on…there's plenty of time for shopping…We don't have many days off…Let's have a snowball fight…"

"…Well…"

"You know it would be fun to hit Shinsei Roma in the face…"

"…It would be…" He was trying hard not to admit it. "…Fine…Let's go outside…"

"Thank you…"

We exited the room, finding the two children outside the door.

"Shinsei Roma! Your drawings are so nice…" Italy was looking through some parchment with doodles all over them. "I like this one the best."

"Children…We're going outside for a snowball fight."

"What? You never let us do anything fun…" The Italian boy said, looking up at Austria.

"And I never will again, so I suggest you take the opportunity while it's there."

"Oh…"

"Snow ball fight?" The little blond boy looked confused. "Well…whose team am I on?"

Austria and I exchanged glances. It would make sense to have one child to one adult…but perhaps it would be more fun to just throw snow balls at one another without teams…

"You can be on my team…" I told him.

"…I…I want to be on Italy's team…"

"…I've never been in a snowball fight…"

"We'll decide once we get out…"

The four of us went outside, and began our game. We assigned teams, but no one kept them. Everyone ended up smacking everyone else with balls of compacted snow…

And when we got bored of that, we began building a snowman. Well, it was really me and Austria building a snowman. The other two were far too little to help. However, they did help with putting on the arms and found enough rocks for the face. It was a lovely snowman, as far as snowmen go…

Without realizing it, about two hours had passed, and we went inside. I was cold, and I was sure the others were as well. Austria didn't bother with removing his coat or anything else for that matter. He was looking at me intently.

"Yes?"

"…I had your fun…it's your turn, isn't it?"

"Goodness no! You're not getting me a damn thing!"

He just looked at me, adjusting his glasses with his middle and index fingers. He was waiting for me to conform to his demands. "…Hungary…" He said. "Please. I hardly get out other than for business…and I want you to come with me. I have to go shopping for Christmas presents. You can pick some things out for Italy…I'll pay for them. If you really don't want anything, you don't have to get anything…but just come with me, please… You should be flaunting that dress of yours. The world can't admire you if you're trapped inside a box…You're lovely. Go outside."

"…Well…alright…" I'm sure my face was hazy with blush. "I'll go."

I was flattered and intoxicated by my own feelings of attraction for this man… If only I weren't a maid…perhaps we could have more time like this together…I would want nothing more.


	8. Chapter 8

We returned home, our arms full of bags.

"Here…" Austria placed his set of things on the floor. "…Just put them down…I'll have everyone start putting them away…" He removed his overcoat and hung it on the coat rack near the door.

I did as I was instructed, letting out a sigh as the bags all tilted slightly on the ground. I took a moment to look at the time. "…It's late…" The clock's hands were both pointing directly at six.

Before I could give the man more of my words, he was away, telling people waling by to start putting the sacs in his storage room. I did the same. I hadn't forgotten my place…

I tried not to look inside the bags, and I made certain to keep them from Italy's sight. I had bought him a few things and even Shinsei Roma a gift as well…so, it was important he didn't see them. He was probably asleep, but I couldn't be too cautious…

Everything was put away, and the time was seven. I had missed dinner if I hadn't already…I sighed. My body was worn out from all the shopping we had done…and I only wanted to sleep, but missing dinner was a terrible idea…

So, I found Austria. He was sitting as piano again, scribbling down lyrics and notes on a sheet of paper. "…We missed dinner…I know…Everyone's too tired to bother with cooking…maybe we should just get drunk…"

I didn't speak. He turned and looked at me. "I'm kidding…" Austria took off his glasses and wiped them on his blouse, then placed them back onto his face. "…What do you want to eat?"

"…Nothing, sir…it's up to you."

"…I don't know…I'm too tired to think…" He ran a hand through his hair, the whole thing completely askew. Stands fell into his face and he focused on me. "…I'm sorry. Maybe we should have stayed home…" he leaned his head back, his lips coming open. "…I'm exhausted…"

"Sir…" He was never so open before.

"You don't have to call me that anymore…" Austria sat up fully and smiled at me.

"It's out of respect…" I told him. His smile grew wider. Again, feeling had gotten me drunk…

"Come sit with me…" He said. I did. He closed his eyes, and I watched him. "…Hungary, what do you want for Christmas? There's only about fourteen days left…and don't say, 'nothing'. Everyone wants something…"

"…I'd like…" I thought a moment. What did I want? "…Can I have a new apron?"

"…An apron?" His eyes opened. "That's it?"

"Yes…that's it."

He bit down on his lower lip, thinking. "…Ask for something else."

"…Well…alright…Can I have a new pair of tights?"

"…What else?"

He made me make a small list of things, all of which were things I needed, but didn't really want.

"…Hungary…What do you really want for Christmas? All of those things you can just ask me for…"

"…Give me a kiss...but not now...I want one on Christmas day…at six o'clock."

"Where?"

"Right on the lips…" I answered. I didn't sound playful at all because I was dead serious. "That's all."

"That's it?"

"That's it." I have him a little smile.

"…How about...two…the second one can be at six o' five."

"…Alright."

"How about-"

I covered his mouth with my index finger. "No. That's all. Thank you. You're far too generous."

He gave up and took my hand from his lips, holding it in his own a moment. "Thank you, Hungary…" Austria let me go. "…Let's get something to eat."


	9. Chapter 9

Things were always extremely busy during Christmas, and it made me regret even more deeply my place in this home. I was jammed with so many extra chores; there was hardly time to sleep.

The only one who didn't seem to be crumbling under the stress was Italy, which didn't surprise me. He was quite a resilient child. Not much bothered him, even if he would be upset at times.

He seemed to spend a lot of time outside. I wasn't sure where he was going, but little footprints were scattered all through out the snow. I saw them whenever I was out.

One day very near Christmas, the cooks called me in. they were extremely busy. The kitchen seemed to be in complete chaos.

"Hungary!" A woman in a dirtied apron looked at me. "Please, can you do me a favor?"

"Yes…I suppose I could. What is it?" I was bust with cleaning myself, but I wanted to help in what ways I possibly could. The cooks worked very hard for everyone.

I was handed a sharp butcher's knife. "Austria wants that hen killed for dinner…It has nearly red feathers, or that's at least what he told me…would you mind? We're really caught up with all the other dishes he wants prepared…"

"Oh…well…" I had never killed an animal before, and I didn't plan on starting.

"Please…It'll be a huge favor, I know…please…"

"Well…" I released a sigh. "...Alright."

"Thank you so much!" She ran off, returning to work, and I was left standing there with an incredibly sharp knife.

I went to the pen where the chickens were kept, my heart beating madly as I walked…the only thing I could focus on was the weight of blade in my gloved hand.

When I arrived, I found the little reddish haired boy standing outside the fence, singing to himself.

"Oh! Hello, Hungary!"

I hid the knife as best I could. "Hello, Italy…" My voice was solemn. I couldn't hide that.

He smiled at me and looked back at the chickens. "Do you see that one?' he pointed to a hen with nearly red feathers. My heart began sinking inside y chest. "I call her Henny! Isn't she pretty?"

I was searching differently for another hen with nearly red feathers…but she was the only one. The rest of them had plain white feathers.

"Yes…I suppose she is."

I was running solutions through my head, but nothing I came up with would have worked. I could kill another chicken, but then we'd only anger Austria for not following orders. There was only one red hen. I couldn't sacrifice another as its substitute. I could always return the knife, but someone would do the job for me.

"Huh? What' wrong?"

"Italy…I think you should inside…it's very cold out, and I don't want you to get sick…"

The little boy looked confused a moment, then began walking away. He looked back at me skeptically, and his eyes locked onto the cleaver.

"Hungary! What are you going to do with that?!" no time was spared before he panicked. His eyes widened and before I could speak, he was begging. "Please, please don't kill Henny! What did she ever do?! Please don't kill her! Please!" he was wailing. His little body sunk into the snow as he begged me. Tears streamed all over his face and he slipped into near hysteria.

"Italy…please…don't…You have to believe me, I don't want to do this…" I was about to cry myself. I wanted him to believe me…

My words held no effect. If anything, his crying became even more audible…

"What's' all this?" Of course, it was Austria. He stopped in front of us, our bodies aligned in the shape of a triangle now. He began analyzing the situation. His glace caught my knife, Italy, and of course, the fowl, who was standing in the center of the pen. "Why isn't that bird dead?" he demanded. He came towards me. "Give me that knife."

"But sir-!"

He held out his hand to me, obviously not going to tolerate any sort of defiance.

"The knife!" he repeated. I could only listen.

The cleaver was taken from me and the man in the black coat walked towards the hens, then took the red feathered one savagely by the neck. Everything as I watched moved so slowly, and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't drown out Italy's screaming, not could I take the knife away…

The boy ran towards the coop as Austria lied the chicken's neck on a stump near the center of the pen. It was stained with blood from previous murders.

"No! No! Don't!" The child didn't sound like himself. A sense of horror came over me like a tsunami.

"No!" I cried, but it was too late. There were fresh blood stains all over the dead wood, and for a moment, everything was serine…the world had stopped moving and the noises grew silent. I watched as the chicken's eyes opened and shut for the last time. The head was lying in the snow, a small puddle of crimson leaking onto the pure white snow.

The silence was broken by Italy's sobbing. He had witnessed the entire act. Screams were coming from his lips and he collapsed onto the snow a second time. Austria simply walked away, the hen's beautiful feathered body in one arm, the blood-stained knife in the right hand of the other. It occurred to me how gorgeous that bird was…what had any chicken done to deserve this…dying with its head disconnected form it's body in the snow…

Tears trickled form my eyes as well…what cruelty. How disgusting this world was…why that bird? Why that boy? Why me? Why had I not turned away?

I wiped the tears from my eyes, and came towards the boy, who had lost control of his emotions. I took him into my arms. I kissed him. I cried with him…

"Italy…I'm so, so sorry…" A hand of mine supported his head, my fingers lost in stands of red hair…

He only wailed.

Feelings of anger set in. What a horribly cruel man…


	10. Chapter 10

That night at dinner, no one ate any of the left over chicken soup that was prepared. The story spread quickly, and everyone found it so distasteful, they couldn't possibly eat…

Italy had locked himself up in his room for the rest of day. Whenever I passed by his room, I heard faint crying and my heart broke more and more…Austria had already taken most everything he had…why did he have to take this away too? The poor child had nothing, and something that made him happy had been chopped up and cooked…

Once everyone had gone to bed, I opened the door to his room and came in, taking him into my arms. He was still awake, but was no longer crying. He was simply lying there. I twirled a bit of his hair between my fingers and watched him. His eyes didn't focus on me. In fact, they focused on nothing…he looked like he might have died, but he was still breathing.

"…I hate him…" He said.

I didn't respond. What could I say? Instead, I ran a finger down his face, which was dirtied from all the tears.

"…I know…but you have me, Italy…and I love you…" I rested my palm on his little face. "…I'm sorry…I know it's hard…" I leaned over to kiss his forehead.

Italy's face contorted and he began crying again, but this time there were no tears left. He had cried them all out. The only thing I could do was hold him closer. How guilty I felt…if only I had ran when I had the knife…all I did was hand it over. I was just as open to blame as he was. I was an accomplice…

The boy had cried himself to sleep, so I tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight. "…I'm sorry Italy…" I said softly. "…Tomorrow will be better…"

The next day, I brought that man his tea…but I said nothing to him. I didn't even give him a dirty look. I simply set the tray down and walked away.

The whole house was quiet that day…no one had much of anything to speak about. Of course, there were the occasional whispers, but the world had grown silent…

At six, I brought Austria his tea, and before I could turn and go, he caught me by the wrist.

"You're going to tell me why everyone is giving me dirty looks…Turn around." I did as I was commanded, and looked at Austria, who wore a look of near disgust. He let go of me. I didn't say anything at first.

"…Well?"

"…Everyone feels you were unjust yesterday." I stated. "…It was wrong to just…kill that bird."

"Why?" He asked, eyes angry.

"Because…Italy had given it a name…He loved it…and you chopped its head off right in front of him…Austria…you order the poor child around all day…and he hardly complains…how could you take that hen from him? He has practically nothing. You couldn't pick any other chicken?" My voice was shaking. "…It wasn't like it would have made a difference. All chicken tastes the same. That one just had red feathers? Was it that special? You're the only one who ate any of it."

He had nothing to say.

"…Do you know what he told me yesterday? He said he hated you…Maybe it doesn't bother you, but it should. Italy is a good child, and he's full of nothing but love…even for people who aren't always good to him…I think he might have even liked you…but you ruined that too. Can you even justify yourself?" My eyes were filling with tears.

He bit his bottom lip. I could tell he was fuming. "Justification? Here's your justification. This is my house. Those are my chickens. You're my servants. You wear the clothes I bought you with my money. You listen to my orders, and if I want my chicken dead, I'll have my chicken dead. Why? It's mine. Everything you see around you is mine. Everything you have is essentially mine. There. That's your precious justification. Because it's my house, and it's not my fault some idiotic boy is too busy making friends with poultry."

"How do you even sleep at night?!" I screamed. "You sit here, giving orders and making everyone around you miserable! No one likes you! They respect you only out of fear! I even hate you sometimes! You say we're friends, but all you do to show that is force me to do things I don't want to do! You never let me do what I want! I want a break; No! Go clean the chimney again! Go wash the dishes a third time! You work us all until our fingers bleed and for what?! To have our precious things taken away right in front of us?! Why don't you just take all of the things in my room and set them on fire outside?! They're yours, aren't they?!" I stopped a moment to breath. "You wonder why you don't have any friends…there's your answer. Everyone who says they like you is lying. Well, I'll be honest. I find you disgusting. You're so absorbed into yourself; you can't even see what's right in front of you. All of these things that are yours…what do they matter? Can you tell me that? When everyone leaves you because they get fed up, is this house going to matter? Are your chickens going to matter? No. You can have as many possessions as you can buy…but what are you at the end of the day when everyone hates you? Are you happy to know people wish you would die? You can have your house with your rules and all of your fancy possessions…But you certainly can't have my friendship." I walked away, not looking back. He said nothing more. I expected him to call me back…but I didn't even get that…

That night, I lied in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was impressed with myself, but also worried. He would throw me out…That what happened to many maids before me. He would simply let them go. He hated the truth…but who could blame him? The truth was an ugly thing he couldn't dispel…

The next day he was nowhere to be found…I came in with tea to a room with no one inside. I left it for him, and returned to see the same untouched beverage…yesterday would be Christmas Eve…it was odd of him to just disappear.

And there was Christmas Eve. The same thing occurred as yesterday. I showed up with the tea, and he was no where to be found. I even looked for him, beginning to think I was too harsh…but then I told myself those thoughts were foolish.

At six, I was called into his room…

Austria was there, sitting at his bureau, his eyes diverted to he ground. I stepped forward, staring directly at him.

Neither of us spoke for a long time.

"…No, really, sir. It's fine." I said. He gave his attention to me. "I know why you called me here. It's really alright that you can't deal with the truth. I understand completely; really! It's a horribly hideous thing, and since you like to live in a pretty little delusion, well, it makes perfect sense that you can't face it! I'll make it easy for you, so you don't have to waste your precious time on a lowly little maid like me. I'll throw myself out. No, no! Don't even speak! It's not necessary! I don't want to hear it anyway! You get the privilege of keeping _your_ words to _yourself!_"

I turned a moment, biting my lower lips to keep from crying. I wasn't sarcastic this time. "…I would have really liked to stay…but I can't possibly be around someone who cares so little about others…Please take care of Italy…"

I walked away, hearing weeping that wasn't my own.

I took my coat and threw it around me, walking outside. It was snowing with no remorse. Still, I moved forward, hearing people calling my name. I refused to go back…

I was walking a while before I had to stop. The ice was sticking to my face and I could no longer move forward. I wasn't sure where I was. I looked back. There was no home, not even lights. I sat down in the snow where I was, beginning to sob. I didn't hate him as much as I seemed to…I still loved him…but I couldn't go back…How he treated Italy was wrong…

…but I didn't even give him a chance to apologize…

It them occurred to me how much pressure he must have been under…It was Christmas and the whole world was watching him…he had to buy things for nearly everyone, and he was always busy…He didn't want to put up with complaints form servants…people who are supposed to listen to him…How could he have known the hen was special to Italy/ I didn't even know until that day…He might have assumed he was crying because I was going to kill it…it seemed like something he would be upset over…

I stood back up, wiping my tears and yelling his name. He was a good man…he had a made a mistake…I had made mistakes too…and he had always forgiven me…

"Austria!" My voice grew feeble. "Austria…"

I fell into the snow…If no one found me, I would die…


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up in my room, a warm blanket covering me. There was a weight at the end of my bed. I moved my foot and poked it…It was a person…

Austria looked at me, his gorgeous eyes full of tears. His glasses were absent, and he was nearly chocking. "Don't you ever do that again!"

I didn't say anything, only sat up and was immediately embraced. He held me so tightly I could barely take in a breath. With no warning, he pushed his lips to mine, and we kissed. I had never felt so much passion…he broke us apart and continued to weep.

"Dammit, Hungary…" He tried to get a little more control of himself. "I couldn't live with myself if you died, so don't ever do that again! I was so worried…I know you can't stand me…but I can't loose you…I love you…please don't go…" He stopped speaking. Finally, I put my arms around him.

"…I love you too…" I was speaking through tears. "…I'm sorry…I didn't even give you a chance to talk…I know I said some really mean things…but I love you…" My voice became useless, and I simply cried. We held each other for such a long time…

Finally, we fell back onto my bed, our bodies tied together. Both of us were quiet now. We were looking at one another…

"…I'm sorry…" I said. "…I was…stupid."

"…And I was cruel…I'm sorry…"

I smiled and touched my forehead gently to his. "It's alright…I forgive you…" My eyes closed, intoxicated on happiness…

I fell asleep there, my body still exhausted. I woke up occasionally, getting a kiss from the man still wrapped loyally around me. I was so happy to have his lips pressed to mine…

"I love you…" He would tell me and I would repeat it back to him.

When we finally came out, it was two o' clock in the afternoon. Italy and Shinsei Roma were standing before my door, both of them looking worried.

"Hungary!" The reddish haired boy wrapped himself around my legs, his cheek resting against the hem of my dress. He began to cry softly. 'please don't go…"

"I'm not going anywhere…" as usual, I swept him up and laid my lips upon his cheek. "I love you, Italy…"

"I love you too…"

"Italy…" The boy looked to Austria, who took a bit of time to plan his words. "..I'm sorry about what I did…I didn't know…" he had a deficiency of words. "I didn't know you liked that hen so much…"

"Oh…well, it's alright…" I knew he was finding it difficult to forgive him. I began to twirl Italy's hair between my middle and index fingers. I selected the stand that curled out from behind his ear. "...That feels nice…"

"Well, let's open presents…it's getting late…"

We leaked into the room with our Christmas tree, which was rich and beautiful, especially in the afternoon light. The bulbs glistened and each one was like a miniature star upon our tree. Presents waiting for us under the branches, and I was handed the first one.

I received everything I had asked for, a new apron, new tights…all of that. I was surprised he didn't go over the top. I wasn't going to complain, but I was expecting something slightly more extravagant…I knew I was frequently upset that he was giving expensive gifts…but that was more so out modesty.

Italy opened his presents, a sketch book, a set of paints, and a new set of artistic pencils.

"Thank you!" he called out to me. There was a huge grin upon his face. I could only smile back. In the meantime, Shinsei Roma was looking over his things. I had selected for him a sketch book as well, but Austria had selected more practical things such as a new blouse and shoes, which were incredibly dull. Perhaps he was more mature than most children, but no one, even adults, want such things on Christmas.

"It's okay, Shinsei Roma…I'll share with you…" Italy told him.

"Oh…thank you…" His cheeks turned pinker than they normally did in this situation. I found it cute that they began drawing with no regard for Austria and I. We looked at each other and smiled, kissing with no regard for them.

Austria and I spent our day together, and at six o clock I got the kiss I had asked for. As our lips locked together, he slipped something around my neck. Our mouths parted. It wasn't enough to go on a while. He was far too much a gentleman…

I took the golden chain between my fingers. There was a diamond hanging from it. The stone was in the shape of an oval, and supported by gold welded onto it's backside. It wasn't huge, but it didn't have to be. My heart still melted at the sight of it.

"…It's lovely, isn't it?" The diamond rested on the tip on Austria's finger his lips formed into a smile. "I knew you wouldn't want something gaudy…and I'm sure you would have punched me if I got you all I wanted to…but there will be more installments later.

"You're ridiculous…" I kissed him again. "…Honestly…"

For the rest of the night, we sat at his piano. I listened happily as he played, leaned against him. It had been such a wonderful day…even if the stress leading to it was enough to make me want to tear my hair from its roots. Everything was at peace, and I was openly in love with Austria, who loved me back. I wondered what would happen now that we were like this…would he want to stay with me? Perhaps he would even let me stop working so much…It was hard to say, but I was willing to tuck my worries away until they needed to some into play…I was far too content to lie against is shoulder and watch as his hands worked away at his instrument.


	12. Chapter 12

I still held my place as a maid, but I didn't have to work so hard anymore. Austria didn't ask much of anything from me. I still brought him his tea, but instead of leaving immediately he would ask me to sit with him, and we would talk.

I was surprised at how very affectionate he was. He didn't seem like the kind that would be, but when the opportunity presented itself, he would cover me with his lips.

One day, when winter was finally over, Austria called me in. I was still wearing that fancy dress he bought me. It was warm and somewhat uncomfortable due to the thick frills and heavy fabric.

"Hungary, I have to get you some new clothes…" he was working diligently on something or other. When he looked up at me, I received a smile. "That's gorgeous on you, but it's getting too warm…"

"…It is getting quite warm…but please don't buy me anything…"

"Lorelei, how many times have we gone through this argument?"

"Several, but-"

"And who always ends up winning?" he asked. Austria was grinning at me.

"You do, but-"

"Get changed and we'll go get you something more appropriate to wear…" his voice was gentle. "Please, let me get you something nice."

"You always get me something nice…can't we juts stay here? I can deal with these clothes a while longer…"

"Oh, Lorelei…" He sighed. "We go through this every time I want to buy you something…I'm not very busy today, and we both know that at some point, you're going to need new clothing. It's already too warm for that…come along now…go change into something lighter and we can go…"

"Stop spoiling me…" I said.

"…No. Go get changed."

I inflated my cheeks and walked from the room, hearing my love laugh at me the entire way out. It was a quiet laugh, but it was still apparent. I knew he loved me, which is why he made me want to scream at times.

Of course, he took me to the same place he bought all of my dresses at, and when we entered, he spoke to me.

"How many dresses do you want?" He asked, kissing my cheek.

"None."

"No. Try again, Lorelei."

"…Two?"

"No."

"Three?"

"You're getting closer…"

I sighed. "…Ten?" I knew this game very well.

"Good job…" He twisted a lock of my hair. "How did you know?"

I smacked his hand away as if it were a pest. "Stop that."

Austria simply touched me with his lips.

Ten dresses were chosen, and that dirty man finally took me home. They would be ready within a week, as they usually were.

He allowed me to be upset, as I always was whenever he did this to me, but when I was finally calm again, I thanked him.

When all of those brown packages arrived, Austria asked me to wear each one for him, do I did. He waited outside my door with little Italy and Shinsei Roma as I came out and modeled for them.

His gaze never slipped away from me. I wouldn't ever tell him how much I loved getting new dresses.

His favorite dress of mine was the white one. It was lacey and layered, but so light. It was my favorite as well, and it was unlike the other dresses in the regard my color bone could be seen. That made it easy to figure out why Austria liked it.

"Hungary, why don't we spend some time together?" as usual, my love was playing with my hair. We were at his piano bench.

"We're spending time together now…" I told him. I touched his hand, which was resting on my shoulder. Our fingers intertwined. "You're silly…"

"…Mmm…" he rested his face near mine. "…O course, but I meant a little later today…maybe even tonight…I have a bottle of wine I've been saving for something like this…just for you and I…"

"You're too kind…" I let go of his hand. "…Please, you shouldn't waste such things on me…I'll just pass out…"

"No…you don't have to have much, Lorelei. I thought it would be nice to spend the evening with you…you're so lovely in this dress…" his fingers brushed past the fabric adorning my shoulders. "But if you'd rather be alone, that's fine…I won't make you be with me…I know I'm boring."

"You're really not boring." He had me melting in his hands. "…I just don't drink much, but it would be nice to spend time with you…"

"…Do you mind this?" his playful little fingers brushed past my neck, then pushed some hair behind my ear. "…I'm so worried that I'm annoying you...I thought if I was, you might not tell me, but then I look at that dress of yours and remembered how you wanted to kill me in my sleep…so…It's hard to say…"

I was laughing at him. "No…I don't mind. We intertwined fingers again. "You don't annoy me at all…only when you insist in buying me things. 'No, Lorelei! You need forty more necklaces! Your neck looks so bare with only twenty!'" I started laughing once more.

He smiled at me and kissed my lips. "Well…It does."

I was laughing even louder. "…I love you."

"And I love you."

I looked the best I could. My hair was up and I still kept the white dress on he liked so well. I even reddened my lips and pinched my cheeks.

We met in a different room this time. It resembled a small ballroom, but only had a table top and two glasses near our seats. Austria was in one of them, waiting for me.

"Hello there, my pretty little Lorelei…You look wonderful…" he stood and pulled my chair out for me. I sat down.

"Hello." I told him. We sat across from one another.

For a moment, nothing was said. His eyes took me in…He had such a gentle expression upon his handsome face. He broke his gaze a moment to take the bottle and went into his pocket for a corkscrew, once getting it poking the bottle's top and unscrewing it.

"Your glass, please…"

"Oh, yes…" I held it out for him, deep red liquid flowing into the glass. I took it back once he had poured, and waited for him to fill his own glass. He took a sip a sip after holding up his chalice. I took a drink as well.

After about two and half glasses, I stooped. I wasn't drunk, but I was certainly affected.

"Austria…maybe we should stop now…I don't want anymore…"

He adjusted his glasses and put the cork back. "I'm done too…" Most of the wine was gone, only a small amount remained in the bottom. He stood up, coming to me and offered me a hand. I took it, coming to my feet, but touched faces with Austria. I closed my eyes, my bottom lip being sucked upon lightly…

"Austria…"

His tongue slipped into my mouth and began touching mine, probing a little deeper. I didn't attempt stopping him. Instead, my fingers searched through his hair and touched the skin on his neck…

We broke apart, our hands still where they were.

"…Hungary…"

I shoved my lips against is, our tongues curling together. I leaned my head back and he stopped.

"…Hungary…I want you…" his fingers drifted past the crook of my neck then to my shoulders. He pushed my sleeve away, my skin becoming bare. "You're so gorgeous…just look at you…" he brushed my collar bone with his lips.

"…Then I'm yours…"

He looked me right in the eyes. "…Really?"

"Yes…but not here…" I couldn't believe the words leaking from my mouth. "Take me to your room…"

We kissed deeply before moving.

We made our way to his room, just as I had asked, and immediately, he had me on his bed, and licking at my sin as it is was candy. He gently pulled my dress from my body and stroked my curves with his open hands.

The white fabric was nearly torn from me, and I was left there with nude breasts and a petticoat. I felt dizzy. Was this really happening? Was this man really putting his hands all over me?

My petticoat was pulled away as well, and there I was, completely naked on top of soft sheets with Austria hovering over me. he was removing his clothing…everything fell to the floor.

He opened my legs.

"No! Wait!"

"What's wrong, Lorelei?" His hands were rubbing the outside of my legs.

"…You'll get blood on your sheets…" I swallowed. I was becoming nervous…I hadn't lost my virginity yet…

"I don't care about that…" He took my hand near his lips and kissed my fingers. "There won't be much…Are you afraid?"

"…Yes…"

"It's alright, little Lorelei…it's not too late to turn back…"

I thought a long moment…If not now, then this would occur at another time…and it might be even worse because I didn't take in any alcohol…But there was now…and I was so worried.

"…Please…be gentle with me…" I said.


	13. Chapter 13

I opened my eyes to a sleeping man, his glasses askew and his hair a mess…He was sleeping happily, the sheets covering his lower nude half.

I sat up, looking down at my naked chest and the area between my legs. There was a small amount of blood around my thighs…I looked back to the man lying next to me. …Yes…it's aright it belongs to him…

"Austria…" I called to him softly. "…Austria…"

His eyes opened, nearly purple irises looking over to me. "Oh…Lorelei…I'm sorry…" He sat up and kept his pupils on me. "…That was wrong of me…"

"What do you mean?"

"…I gave you wine and had sex with you…" He truly did look guilty. "…It wasn't right because if I hadn't given you any alcohol, you might not have wanted to do what we did last night…I didn't intend for things to go that way…but you were so lovely…" he looked away. "…I'm sorry Love…Did you really want this?"

"Yes…of course I did…" I touched his shoulder with my fingers. "…This was bound to happen at some point…and I'm glad it happened like this…Don't feel guilty…I've wanted you several times before now…We just needed an opportunity…and you gave me a chance to stop you…and I let you continue…There's no reason to feel bad because you're human…"

"…Thank you, Lorelei." He moved towards me and kissed my cheek. We embraced a moment. "…You're alright, aren't you?"

"I'm just fine…" I touched the tip of his nose with my lips.

There was banging in the door.

"Sir! Someone is here for you! He says he's here to visit Italy!"

"Hungary, get under the covers." He whispered. "Just a moment!" I heard him desperately dressing himself and there was speaking outside the door. My cheeks were turning red. They came in.

"Ah! What a big room you have, Austria…but…it's so boring…" the man sat on the bed. "You should have some paintings of nude women in here…You do like girls, don't you?"

"France…what do you want?"

"Italy has been writing me letters…granted, they haven't been very good letters, but letters none the less. He asked me to come visit him…and since I needed to get out, I figured I would come here and see you lovely people…"

"Without even writing?"

"It was a spur of the moment sort of thing…" he leaned back on top of my foot. "Oh?" I had to move it. "What's all this?"

"No! Don't!"

France pulled the covers away from me and I screamed, covering my breasts and connecting my legs.

"Oh! Enchante!" He exclaimed. I was staring at him, wondering if this was really occurring. "Hello there, little rabbit. I'm France."

"Get the hell out of my room!"

"So you really like girls?"

"Out!"

Austria expelled the Frenchman from his room.

"There's no need for shame! I'm proud of you! She's pretty!"

My love slammed the door and looked at me, adjusting his glasses. His hair was still a mess and his face was flustered. "I'm so sorry…" He told me. "I didn't think he would come in…"

"…It isn't your fault…I can't say that it's okay…But it's not your fault…"

"Oh Hungary…" He sat at the edge of his bed.

I wrapped myself around him, my arms meeting at his chest, my lips at the nape of his neck. "…Please don't be upset, Love…"

"I'm sorry, Lorelei…"

As I left his room, all of the maid's eyes were set on me. I headed to my room sinking in my own shame.

Italy was standing outside. "…Hungary! Where have you been?!" He looked like he was in a panic. "I heard France was here! Have you seen him?"

"…Yes…but I don't know where he is…"

"Bonjour!" The blonde man walked towards us. "Hello there, little rabbit." There was a filthy smile on his face.

Italy ran towards and was swept up immediately.

"France! You got my letters!"

"Of course…I'm sorry I haven't answered them…I've been so tied up lately, but I didn't forget about you."

"Oh! Thank you!" he cried. Poor Italy. He had no one to really love him. I took care of him as best I could but it wasn't the same. I had Austria, at least, but Italy had no one…

France was laughing as the boy smothered him with kisses. I stepped inside my room, feeling somewhat embarrassed and out of place. That man had just seen me without clothing.

I changed my dress and fixed my hair in the mirror, my reflection making me somewhat dirty.

We all sat together at breakfast, France with Italy on his lap, and talked about an assorted amount of things. The blond, who I finally got a decent look at, was telling stories (sometimes in French) no one was really listening to. It was easily seen that Austria wasn't happy with his being here.

I almost hate to admit it, but he was a handsome man. His face was very well composed and his hair was wall taken care of, even if he simply wore it down…he was almost was attractive as Austria.

Breakfast was over, and we left the room, gathering outside the door, unsure of what to do.

"…Well, I have to work now…Italy, you can have the day off…" Austria walked away.

"Thank you!" The little boy looked so happy.

"Well, little rabbit…" France looked to me, and I stared into those soul stealing blue eyes. "Why don't you show me around? I'd like to see this place…" There was a little smile on his face. "Maybe we can even go into town today for a bit, non? I saw little bits when I was coming here…It looked nice…"

"…I'm not sure if we can go into town…but I can show you around here…" I told him, feeling uneasy.

"Ah, well…That's fine." He picked up Italy, who was still ecstatic.

"Hungary! You have to show him the gardens! They're so pretty!"

"That sounds like a lovely idea!" his lips pressed against each other in the shape of a grin. "Please, show me the gardens."

I gave him a tour of the entire house, and the whole time, I felt he was only staring at me. Perhaps it was due to the previous incident, or maybe I was simply paranoid, but something was wrong. Thankfully, at the end of our little tour, I was called in to see Austria.

"Hungary…You're wanted in his office…" the woman speaking to me was staring at France, a dizzy look on her face.

"What a let down!" The blond man said. "…and we were having so much fun. Oh well. Maybe later we can have wine together, or whatever you drink around here."

"We'll see. It's up to Austria. Feel free to ask for anything you need." I told him. "Anyone can help you, so don't shy away from asking…" I went to Austria.

My love was in an angry state, wildly signing papers and in quite a fluster. "That moron! He could have at least told me he was coming! Instead he just waltzes in here and expects the whole world to drop everything just for him!"

"I'm sorry dearest…Please calm down…maybe later tonight we can slip away and go for a walk, or something… Just don't be upset, please…"

He sighed, putting down his pen. "…Oh, Lorelei…I only wish I could. I have so many papers to look over…even if I keep working from now, I'll probably be done around nine…"

"Really?" I asked. It was hard to believe.

"Well…figuring in meals and a half an hour break, yes…if I really hurry I can be done earlier…but I don't know…" He continued on and the stopped. "…why don't you come here a moment…I'll give you a few kisses…"

"Thank you, Love…"

Obviously, I didn't see him much that day, but I didn't mind. I simply kept to myself.


	14. Chapter 14

"Good morning little rabbit!"

"What are you doing in my room?!"

"I'm thanking you for the lovely tour yesterday." France handed me a small bouquet of roses. "I know I showed up unexpectedly, but you did a lovely job on such short notice…"

"…Oh…Thank you…" I looked down at the flowers, knowing they would upset my love had he saw them…

"De rein, mon petit lapin."

"What?"

"Nothing. Have a lovely day." He took my hand and kissed the ends of my fingers. Before I could say anything, he left me alone.

I was with my flowers, my face flushed. I had to stay away form that man. He was dangerous…

I found myself a vase for my roses, and put them on my vanity. I knew I shouldn't keep them, but they were so lovely…It would be rude to throw them away… We met at breakfast a few minutes after I had gotten dressed.

"You know, we should all go out today." France was saying, twirling his blond hair between his fingers. "It's so pretty out, and it's such a terrible day to waste…"

"…When are you leaving again?" Austria asked, popping a bit of food into his mouth.

"…In about three days…" He said. "Will you give Italy the day off again? It would be so cruel of you to have me here and make him work…the poor child, his little fingers bleeding for you and his big brother comes to visit and you're still working him!"

"Fine." Austria was chewing even more compulsively. "He has the day off."

"Oh thank you! What a kind slave driver you are!"

"And what an annoying free-loader you are!" He was sawing at the pancake on his plate. "You come into MY house with NO notice and expect ME to entertain you! Last time I checked you're not MY problem, so take yourself out! You have two fully functional legs, don't you?!"

"Darling, your pancake is clean in half." I told him.

"Oh, thank you!" There was a scratch mark on his plate where the knife was sliding back and forth. He sighed deeply. "…You can take care of yourself, France. I'm busy."

"Oh, you're always busy!" His eyes drifted to me. "Can your little rabbit take me? I don't know my way around very well."

"Oh, heaven forbid you get lost!" Austria said, sawing at another part of his cake. "What a tragedy that would be!"

"Austria…I'm beginning to think you don't want me here."

"What was the first indication?!"

"Well…I'm sorry." He said. "I simply wanted to visit Italy…I don't mean to be annoying, I'm just…myself…I'll try and keep it toned down a bit…I'm simply happy to be away from home a bit…You know?"

"…It's…okay…Hungary, please take France out…I have to work…" he stood up and left the room.

"Goodness! He's your…husband or something isn't he?" France asked. "How do you possibly live in these conditions?"

"Oh…He's really quite sweet…I think you're just stressing him out." I had to giggle. "…And you did call him a slave driver."

"Did I now? I don't even remember!" He smiled at me. "How often does he buy you flowers, little rabbit? He's good to you, isn't he?"

"Well…he doesn't really buy me flowers…"

"That sick man! If you were mine, you would have a room full of flowers!"

"No! You don't understand…he's very good to me…He's just serious, most times. But he takes good care of me, and he always buys me things…they just aren't flowers…"

"Well, I would get you flowers…"

"And you did."

"You see? Pretty girls deserve flowers no matter what the situation…"

"I'm really not pretty."

"Oh hush. You're lovely. There's no need to be modest. If you're gorgeous, be gorgeous!" He threw his hands in the air and blood rushed to my face. "He tells you that, doesn't he?"

"Yes, all the time."

"Hmm…" The blond man stood up. "Well, I'm finished up here little rabbit. I'll go get Italy and we can meet around here."

"…Well…alright…"

This man was very dangerous…

France, Italy and I went outside, beginning to walk into town. The little Italian boy was sitting in France's arms and singing happily. It was really quite cute. I was surprised how much he seemed to care about Italy…I didn't think anyone did besides myself.

"It's nice to have you here, France!"

"I know. I'm happy to be here too. I think the little rabbit even likes me here, but she won't admit it. Her crazy husband wouldn't allow it."

"He's not my husband…" I said.

"What?" Italy looked confused a moment. "…Who's a rabbit?"

"That lovely lady right there." France pointed to me. "You see?"

"Hungary isn't a bunny…"

"Ah, you'll understand later." The blond kissed the boy in the center of his forehead. "So, that insane man isn't your husband?"

"…No, and he's really not insane…he just doesn't like you." I was becoming mildly annoyed.

"…Well, you can't win everyone's heart…but you can certainly try, isn't that right, little one?"

"I guess so…" Italy giggled.

"You're going to be a lady killer, you know that? Just look at how cute you are now!"

We finally got into town and at the first store we saw, France pulled me into it, telling me to pick something.

"Anything you want, little rabbit, it's yours."

I sighed. Was this all really love was? Buying people things? "No Thank you…I'm fine."

"Oh come now." He said. "How about that?" He was pointing to a clock that looked like it required a fortune. "That's nice isn't it?"

"Yes, but…please! If you buy me anything Austria is going to tear your head off! Can't we just walk around?"

"…Well, as you wish, but if you want anything, you can tell me."

"Can I have something?" Italy asked. "Please?"

"Certainly."

We were out two hours before coming home. I didn't ask for a thing and I didn't receive a thing, and I was happy that way. I knew Austria was upset enough as it was. I wasn't about to anger him more.

The first place I went after getting home was his office, sitting on the bench of his piano, smiling at him.

"…Hello, Lorelei…I saw the flowers."

"…Oh, love…He was just there, handed me the flowers and ran away…I didn't want them…I don't even know why he gave them to me…please don't be upset…I'm only yours…"

"I know, dear…" Austria was abnormally calm. He was truly upset. "I figured it was something along those lines…but why did you keep them?"

"…I thought…it would be rude to throw them away…he might see them and be…offended. I'm sorry…I'll get rid of them when he leaves…please…believe me…"

"…I do." He looked up at me. "…I'm just worried now…you're a gorgeous woman, and I know gorgeous women are like a drug to that man. Did he try anything?"

"…No. He only tried to buy me something…but I didn't let him…I told him you would tear his head off."

"…And I would…"

"…I love you…" I told him, not sure of what words I could utilize to make this better.

"…And I love you, Lorelei…Come here." I did as I was told, and walked near him. He stood up and gave me a kiss. "…Maybe we can actually get out tonight…I'm almost done."

"That would be lovely…"

His finger brushed past my nose and he smiled at me. "You're cute, Lorelei."

"Thank you."

I would never give up Austria for the world, especially not for an attractive Frenchman.


	15. Chapter 15

The days past, and France was close to leaving. It was the morning of his last day, and I was sitting with Austria in his lap at the piano.

"I'm so happy that moron is finally leaving." He kissed me right on the lips. "Perhaps a little later we can…" he nuzzled into the crook of my neck and kissed me again. "Well…If you'd like…"

I giggled. "You're so cute, Love…" My hand searched through his hair and I kissed him. It had been a few days after we had first made love, and perhaps it was early, but I wouldn't mind another time.

He leaned his head against my chest and closed his eyes. "I love you, Lorelei…"

I twisted that stay lock of hair between my fingers. "I love you too…"

His eyes were still shut he looked so serine. I had an idea.

I got up and untied the laces of my dress.

"Lorelei…"

"Don't worry, Love…" I removed my shoes and then shed my tights. "Wouldn't it be nice to make love here?"

"No!" he was blushing. My petticoat came off. "Dearest, I don't think this bench could handle it…"

"We both sit on it all the time…What's the difference?" I slipped my dress off. "If you're really uncomfortable, we can just make love the floor…"

"Please put your clothing back on…"

"What?"

"…Please put your clothing back on…I couldn't possibly…"

"…Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do! I just…can't possibly take you here…Later, I promise."

"…But, Love…I'm here now…"

"…I know. But you'll be here later…"

I was standing there, nude and with my feelings damaged. "…Oh, well…I guess I'm not a very good Lorelei…" I pulled on my tights and petticoat, then my dress.

"Hungary…" he said softly. "Please don't be upset."

How could I not be?

I left his room, no more words coming from my mouth. Many were trapped, but none were elusive enough to slip.

As I was walking to my room, I ran into France, who was dressed in a towel with wet hair.

"Little rabbit, what's wrong?" He stopped me.

I looked at him. I couldn't possibly tell him what had happened…not when he was dressed so…poorly.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

"No, no! Wait!" he followed me as I tried to walk away. "Please, tell me."

"…Why?"

"Because…You're upset…" his eyes were soft. "I'd like to try and male you feel better, if I can…"

I sighed. "I-"

"No, wait. Come back with me. I have to get dressed and then you can tell me."

"…Well…alright."

We went to France's room, and he sat me down on his bed then went into the closet and pulled out another one of those flashy uniforms. His back faced me and he let the towel fall to his ankles.

"What are you doing?!"

"We're even now, aren't we, little rabbit?" He slimed at me, pulling up his pants. "Now you've seen me naked…" His blouse went on, and he took a seat next to me. "Now tell me what's wrong." He was playing with his hair, which actually looked quite cute when it was askew.

"Austria…" I sighed. I couldn't even force out the words. The Frenchman's eyes were stuck on me, but they were gentle.

"Yes?"

"Well….I was in his office and…basically, I took off my clothes, he told me to put them back on and I left upset…"

"What?" he sounded somewhat surprised. "That's ridiculous! No man could possibly refuse such an offer…"

"…Well…he did."

"I'm sorry…You know what you need?"

"What?"

"A man who will ravage you with no second thought…" He took my hand and held it close to his lips. "You really are a lovely thing. It's unfair isn't it?" he kissed my knuckles. "Honestly, what kind of man would tell you to get dressed? It's repulsive."

France's lips were moving down my arm and eventually, we were face to face. I could smell him…it wasn't such a bad scent…But I felt I should go.

His hand touched my neck, and I shuddered. This man had experience with his fingers.

"Look at you, little rabbit…so timid…There's no reason to be." His lips touched to mine, and his tongue entered my mouth.

'No, no, no! You have to stop this!' I thought. 'But…after this kiss…' was my other half.

France singled out my tongue and put it between his lips, sucking gently while his fingers worked with my dress, loosening it around me. We broke apart, and before I could protest he was licking my collar bone and his hands were going up my dress. He pulled away my petticoat, palms all over my legs.

"No…don't…" I said softly. "Please…you can't…"

"Why not?" He asked, stopping. His hands were in the same place. 'you're enjoying this…I know you are…"

"I know, but I can't…I'm Austria's….I really can't do this. I pulled away from him and took back my frills, sliding them in and leaving before anything else could happen. I wasn't proud of myself, but I was at least happy I didn't do anything I regretted. I returned to my own bed.

Things were peaceful about a half an hour before I heard fighting outside my room.

"Get out of my house!" They were walking down the hall. "I should kill you!"

"Calm down; I'm going…You know, you have a better woman than you think. We didn't do anything."

"Who can believe you?!"

The voices faded so I left my room and followed them.

"Well, then ask her yourself! She told me she was yours!"

"Get out!" Austria had become unable to think. "Get the hell out!" We were approaching the door and France stopped walking. Without any warning time, Austria was removing his shoes and throwing them at him. "Are you deaf?! Get out!"

"Austria! We didn't do anything!"

France was forced to leave before he could say anything more. I was standing nearly ten feet away. He turned around and was coming towards me, and then past me, not even acknowledging with a glace. My heart nearly stopped. What had I done?

I didn't dare follow him. Instead, I went to my room and wallowed in my own guilt. I hoped he would forgive me. I hoped we could let this go. I hoped he still loved me.

At six, I came to him, no tea…only myself.

I opened the door and walked in, the entire room dark. I could see Austria staring at me with contemplative eyes.

"Love…" I said. "Please, let me explain."

He made no reply.

"After I left you…I ran into France…and he asked me to tell him what was wrong…So, we went back to his room…ad I told him what happened…he told me I needed someone who would love me…and he started touching me…" I gulped. "…Before he got too far, I asked him to stop…and he did. I know it's hard to believe me, and I understand if you're still angry with me…I would be too…but please believe me…" I was beginning to tear up. "Because I would never lie to you…"

Still, he had no words for me.

"…I love you…and I'm so sorry…I never wanted to do anything with that filthy man…I was senseless, and I'll never do anything like this again…I promise…I'm yours…all of me." I wiped my eyes waiting for him to say something. I wouldn't be able to live if he told me he no longer wanted me. I only desired to be his…and that need was more dominant than it ever was before.

"Hungary…Come here." He sounded as if he had been crying before I had come in. His voice had lost its life.

I went to him, blinded by tears.

I was standing there a while before he spoke.

"It was incredibly stupid what you did. I warned you. You're like a drug to him…It's ridiculous you didn't see that coming…our business is ours, not his." He was beginning to sound more upset. "How am I supposed to do anything with you if I can't even trust you? What else have you told him?"

"Nothing, love…really…" I was chocking through sobs.

He bit his lip, his eyes full of emotion, but he refused to give them to me. "Are you even telling me the truth?"

"I wouldn't lie to you…"

Again, silence…I only wanted to embrace him and make him feel how sorry I was. But I couldn't…I couldn't stand myself if I angered him more…I couldn't even stand myself now.

"Go to bed…or just go. I have nothing more to say to you."

I only stood there, sobbing.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hungary…"

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, the sunlight shining on his face and making him even more beautiful.

"…Austria…I'm so sorry…" I already felt like breaking into tears. "…I love you…I really do…"

"I know…"

It was a while before the silence was broken.

"…I really love you Hungary…and I know you wouldn't do something like this on purpose. I might have been an idiotic mistake, but…I know you didn't mean it…and if you're telling the truth, then I obviously mean a lot to you…and you mean a lot to me…I could see it in your face yesterday…I'm sorry I was somewhat cruel. I was upset myself…but I adore you, Lorelei…and this isn't a big enough to stop loving you…"

Tears were coming from my eyes, and I felt his warm body around me. The entire world had grown so sensitive. His touch was more than comforting.

"I love you too…" I kissed him as best as I could. "…Thank you…I don't know what I would do if you didn't want me anymore…I'm happy you're allowing me to be yours…" I took a moment to calm myself down. "…I won't do anything like this again…"

"I know…" he kissed me. "…I trust you…"

The rest of the day was spent together, simply wrapped up in one another's bodies. I loved this man…how could I even let France lie a finger on me? It was nothing compared to Austria's touch…

Later that night, we made love once again…and this time it was much more enjoyable, perhaps because I wasn't intoxicated and it didn't hurt…

After that incident, we seemed to grow together even more. Our time together each day was longer than it had been previously, and that only increased the work load on Austria's poor shoulders. I told him several times I would be happy to leave him be, but he would always ask me to stay.

He brought me little presents more and more…and started bringing me flowers. I always had them in my room…

Things were happy and I couldn't help but notice those little children around me. Italy seemed to be in a better mood, even though he was mostly in a pleasant mood most times.

One day, a blushing Shinsei Roma came to me, entering my door without a word for me and sitting upon my bed. He twitted his thumbs, and looked down at those little boots of his, which he kept so clean. I was surprised at first, but I didn't mind his being there.

"…Hello, Shinsei Roma…Do you need me to fix something for you?" He would sometimes come to me with a torn cloak or something of the like.

"No…"

"Oh, well…alright…You tell me when you know what it is you need."

Minutes commenced.

"…I need some help with Italy…I think I'm scaring him." He was finally looking at me with those pretty little blue marbles.

"…Why? He doesn't find you scary…maybe you're just being overly shy..." I tried to think. "…What makes you think that?"

"…Sometimes I make him cry…But I really don't mean to-! I'm just…klutzy…I think."

"…Well…Just try and be nicer to him…He's really sweet…you just have to be careful…Why don't you ask him how he feels about you?"

He nodded and left me alone.

Oh goodness, what an odd child! But, I wasn't too concerned. Italy didn't hate many people…if he disliked any at all…

I often wondered what it would be like to have children of my own, but I knew it was far too early. I would have liked to be married to Austria before giving birth to any babies, even if they would be adorable. We were always careful and timed things in a manner where I wouldn't become pregnant. I wasn't overly concerned.

But…there was one month were I didn't bleed…I panicked, but managed to calm myself down.

'No, no…sometimes they just don't come on time…there's nothing wrong…maybe I haven't been eating enough lately…' I thought.

I tried not to show I was so worried.

"…Hungary…what's wrong, Love? You keep looking at your plate…"

"Nothing, dearest…I was just thinking to myself, that's all…"

"Alright, Lorelei…"

And of course, the next month came….and still no blood.

Then I really began to panic.

'Okay…okay…I'll just go to the doctor and he'll tell me there's nothing wrong…no need to tell Austria…He might panic for no reason what so ever…I'm probably causing this from all of my worries…'

A week after my missed period, I began throwing up, not having made it to the doctor yet. I even had to leave breakfast due to my stomach…how sick I felt…

"Lorelei…Are you alright…You're not sick are you?"

"I don't know, Love…" I said. "…Will you take me to the doctor's today? I haven't been feeling well at all…"

"Of course…We'll go right away."

On the way there, I felt as if I would throw up again. It could have been the combination of the ride and the worry…but I refused to give up hope. It wasn't over until it was over… It could be a stomach bug…

…But what if it was a baby? What would I possibly do? Would he throw me out? Of course, he wouldn't throw me out because he wanted to…but because he had to. Technically, I was just a spoiled maid, since we hadn't married, and with all the world's eyes glaring at him…well, it would strike up a bigger problem than it was already…he would never stop being ridiculed. I would rather leave with his child stick inside me than watch the mat be torn out from under him…

We arrived at the doctor's and Austria gave me a kiss and dropped me off. "I'm sorry, Lorelei…I can't wait with you…I have so much work to do, but I'll be back very soon and we can go home…I'm sure you'd like to rest…I'll spend the rest of the day with you…if I can…"

"Alright…goodbye…"

He drove away; blowing me a stray kiss I caught with my hands. I was already preying…how could I wipe that expression from his face…I wouldn't throw a knife into his happiness…

When I had finally gotten into see the doctor, he looked tired and worn, as an old leather glove would after five year's Christmases…

"Hello there, Miss. What seems to be the problem?"

Since Austria wasn't with me, I wasn't bound by lies. "…I think I could be pregnant…"

"A young thing like you?" He was already judging me. "Well…take your clothes off. I'll examine you…"

I wasn't sure what he did, but it wasn't enjoyable or comfortable…the entire time, I wanted to be home, back in my love's arms…but this was necessary, much to my dismay…if only it was easier.

"Well…I have good or bad news."

No…

"You're definitely pregnant…Do you have a husband?"

"…No…" The world came slamming down upon me like a judge's gavel. I felt light headed. What was I supposed to do? Maybe I could run a blade through my stomach…

"Oh…well…bad news…"

"Thank you…Doctor…I'll be going now." I made my way to the door; my brain not taking it in. was this all just a sick dream? I could always just wake up…

I met Austria outside, and we went home.


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as we returned home, Austria kept me in bed and locked inside his arms while he kissed me on the back of the neck. I only wanted to cry, but I didn't. I wasn't ready for him to know, and I wasn't going to let on anything by suddenly bursting into tears.

When he finally left me alone, I curled into a ball and began crying. What was I to do? I didn't even believe this was happening, much less that in about seven months I would give birth…

Would this mean our love would stop? This was nothing small…perhaps he was just pretending this whole time, and the second my words would slip out, his jaw would drop, and he would ask me to leave…

I only sobbed more. I was grateful he didn't hear me and come in…

The next day, I looked like I was a wreck. I threw up as soon as I left my bed…and my hair was a nest of tangles…it was so long, which was another problem…all of this worry had frayed the ends and my eyes were dropping. My face looked five years older…

"Lorelei…is everything alright?" He saw me, probably coming in to ask where I was. usually, I would be at breakfast happily eating something with him.

"…Yes…" My voice was cracking. "…everything is fine."

He observed the situation, the puke that was collected in the bucket next to my bed, the state of my untidy room, and then me…

"Oh, Lorelei…you poor thing…" He came near me. I was at my vanity, looking at my suddenly worn face. "…Are you sure you're alright? You should really take a hot bath…maybe that would be a good idea…"

"…Alright… That sounds nice." Part of me was already dead.

"…Come on…" He helped me up and we walked to the bathroom together.

The hot water was refreshing on my body. I hadn't been pregnant that long, but the effects were exhausting…how sick I was… I shut my eyes and let my head fall under the water. I could hear my heart beating…I was expecting another heartbeat next to it, but there was nothing. I rose a moment to look at my stomach…there was barely a bump…was there really life inside me?

I stayed there for what seemed to be an eternity, and when I finally got out, I was more disoriented than before…I managed to dry off and get my frills back around me. Soon after that, I returned to my bed.

Later that night after I had fallen asleep, I felt someone around me. It was my love…he always took such good care of me…how could I think he would throw me out? He would be upset…but perhaps not throw me into the streets…I had his child! He wouldn't…would he?

I began to worry less…but still, this was no small problem.

When I was alone, the worries only got to me more. Doubt was eating me alive…I decided, if anything, I would try and get rid of it before I even mentioned it to it's father…If I didn't have to ruin anything, why would I?

Austria began brining me my breakfast, and I never ate much. I was essentially pretending to be sick. I would always say I had no appetite when I was staving to death…

"Lorelei, you have to eat…You aren't getting better…" He looked so very concerned. "I know you might not feel hungry, but you haven't eaten anything in the past week…please, just try and have something…and if you feel sick, you can stop…but you might actually feel better if you eat a full meal…look at you…" He took my hand, which was getting a bit skinner. "…you're wasting away, Love…"

"…Alright…" I finally gave in.

I ate the entire meal, but as soon as he left, I was shoving my fingers down my throat and expelling it into the pale left near my bed. Once it had left me, I sobbed, wanting to beat myself over the head for being such a foolish girl…

Once Austria saw that I wasn't getting any better, he simply took me outside.

"…Here…maybe if you get some light you'll feel better…" he looked at the grass of the garden we were standing in. There were flower surrounding me. How lovely it was. Austria wondered off a moment, brining back a pretty pink flourishing rose. "…Here…Maybe this will make your face a little brighter…" he stuck the stem behind my ear, the petals touching my face gently.

"…Love…" I touched the flower, my fingers getting lost in the folds. I was too weary to say anymore. I hadn't eaten well for two weeks…I felt closer to death than I ever had before…perhaps I should just tell him the truth…I wouldn't have to worry anymore if there was the truth before him…the goddamn beautiful truth…

But I couldn't…My mouth opened, and the words refused to move from the back of my tongue. Tears came to my eyes…

He was wrapped his eyes around me, water leaking from his eyes as well. "…Please, Lorelei…don't do this…We can go back inside…what would you feel better doing?"

"…I want to be here…" I said.

"…Alright…" He was nearly sobbing. The poor man…he must have thought I was going to drop dead at any moment…he would walk into my room and see me lifeless in my bed…

I should tell him…but again, I couldn't. The words were locked behind steel doors…

"…Austria…"

"…What is it?" he wiped his eyes with one wrist and had me contained with the other arm.

"…Will you play me a song?" I asked, my eyes still blurry. "…Please?"

"…Of course I will…"

And for once things seemed like they were…like I wasn't sick with a baby I didn't want, and Austria was still happy with me…I was causing him pain…and because I couldn't spit out those fatal words, there was nothing I could possibly do…


	18. Chapter 18

It was about four months before I actually saw a change in my stomach. It was bigger…but not by much. I wanted to beat it out of my stomach, but knew what I was doing was already wrong…

I was beginning to feel guilty…My body was wasting away, and the poor child stuck inside…it wasn't its fault it was there…it was just…life…and it didn't deserve this…It was my baby…half of it was me…

Then I began to think of all the lovely thing children could bring…it could be a musician…or maybe even an artist…it could be whatever it wanted to be…I began to think of what it would look like…maybe a girl with my hair and Austria's eyes…or maybe a boy who looked like his father…but looked like his mother only a bit.

I imagined how wonderful of a father he would be…and how much I would love to hold a little child of mine…I thought of Italy and how much I loved him…and he wasn't even mine…

Guilt set in. This was his baby just as much as it was mine…he had a right to know…he thinks I'm dying. He's worried for something much worse than what it actually is…having children is serious business…but it's certainly better than my death…I was starving. I was weak…and so was my child, and he had no idea…he didn't even have a clue…

So, I decided, he had to know…but I had to collect the courage…I wasn't ready to tell him…but I would be if I had a few days.

I had waited a week, and I was soaking myself in the tub before I was to go to him…again, I placed my ears under the water, my eyes closed…and there it was…I could hear my child's pulse…perhaps I was just hallucinating, but it was beautiful…I placed my hands on my stomach…

I stayed there a while, cramps taking me over…perhaps I had given this child too much abuse…far too much abuse…of course it hurt…

I sat up and opened my eyes…the tub was full of blood. I screamed, my eyes searching all through out the water. The pain became worse, and I cried even more loudly. My hands found the place in between my legs. I pulled my fingers from the water…black blood was coding my hands…it wasn't much…I was soaking in water…I felt as if I was just stabbed in the stomach…the pain was too much to bear…

"Lorelei! Are you alright?!" Austria was banging on the door.

"…Yes, I'm fine! Don't come in, please!" More blood drained into the tub…I pulled the plug. No one could see this…

"…Alright…please come out soon…"

I sat there even longer than I had before. I watched as my blood came into the white basin, and polluted what little water I had to keep filling it with. I cried. I had finally started to want my child, and because of my own stupid actions, it miscarried…I had killed it…

I thought that perhaps I should be relieved…I didn't have to tell Austria that I had become pregnant…I could finally eat again…and I could get better…but all I felt was misery and guilt. I placed my arms around my still swollen belly, as if I could hold it in if I tried hard enough. These cramps would stop and I could still give birth to it…I could be a mother…I would bring a life into this world made with more love than anyone else could ever muster…but it was gone, and all of it was completely my fault. He would have accepted me and our child…Maybe he would have even asked me to marry him…but the chance of a happy child drained out of me while anger and regret found their way in.

"…Please come back…I still want you…" I was hysterical. "…You fought so hard…I'm proud of you…Please…Don't go…Let me be your mother…Please…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

Those were my last words for the rest of the day, perhaps the last true ones for the rest of my life. I was a liar and a murderer…and I didn't want to be…

I woke up in the morning, the light shining into my eyes, biting at me. There was a blood stain around my legs, but it was red…not black like it was before…I touched it, feeling dizzy and as if I was about to pass out…it rubbed off onto my fingers…again, I began to cry.

The door opened softly, and Austria came in…I wasn't even certain how I should react. He sat ext to me and looked at the blood, then my hands, which were mildly crimson.

"…Lorelei…Is this why you were crying?" He asked. I wasn't sure what he was thinking…He would probably just think it was my time…but…

I nodded.

"…I'm sorry…I can't relate to this at all…" There was actually a little smile on his perfect face. "…But…this is a lot of blood…do you want to see a doctor?"

"No, no…" I said through tears. "…I don't…I'm alright…"

He kissed me. "…Look…you're actually talking…" He kissed me again, his lips touching my cheek. "…Are you feeling better?"

"…No…" I answered. If anything I was worse. "…Can I have something to eat…Please?"

"Of course you can!" He nearly exclaimed. "Of course…Don't get up. I'll bring you something to eat…" He ran off in the direction of the kitchen…

When he came back, I ate like a rabid animal, as if I had never seen food before in my entire life. He watched, his eyes bright…it was the first they were for nearly two long months.

"Oh Lorelei…" Tears were coming from his eyes. He removed his glasses and wiped them on his blouse. "…I've been so worried…and you're finally eating again…I'm so happy…I thought you were going to die…but now you have your appetite back…"His face was serine and there was a smile across his lips. "…I've been preying…and now you're finally okay…It's been so long since I've seen you eat anything I-" He broke down and I watched a moment before doing so myself, but for completely different reasons.

When I was done eating, he held me, stroking my hair so very lovingly.

"…Oh Lorelei…" We had both calmed down and I was back to numb. "…I'm so happy you're alive…"

I wished I could have said the same…


	19. Chapter 19

I wanted to tell him…I wanted him to know…but I had just as much trouble getting the truth out as before.

I was overjoyed to see Austria happy again. He was playing his piano for hours at a time passionately…and I missed his music…how could I shatter his spirit?

I couldn't hide my troubles, but I did recover and was back t my normal weight. My bleeding stopped and the color came back to my face. My hair was finally lovely again; even if it was still somewhat damaged…the only thing that wasn't fixed was my emotions. I was saturating in guilt, nearly drowning.

Once day, Austria took me outside to the gardens while the sun was dipping below the horizon. The sky was painted with purple and oranges, even red. We held hands, his fingers intertwining with mine…but…my heart was still bleeding. He was such a wonderful man…and I had lied to him and killed his unborn child…

The sun sank down a little deeper…and we sat down in the grass.

"…Lorelei…What's been wrong?" His voice was soft and I felt words choke me again. I could hardly speak.

"…Nothing, Love…"

"Don't lie to me. I know you've been upset…why don't you tell me what's got you this way? You're healthy again…"

I was trying to repress my tears, but knew as soon as I started to speak the truth, they would flow easily.

"Hungary, I need to know. You've been this way for nearly two weeks…You're hiding something from me." his eyes grew slightly accusing.

"Oh…Love…" I began to cry and couldn't stop. Every time I tried to tell him, it was all unintelligible sobs.

"…Hungary…Are you unsatisfied with me? Have I done something to upset you? Please…tell me…"

"Not it's not you…it's me…"

He looked slightly lost.

When I had finally calmed down, we looked at one another and I forced out my words through even more pain.

"…I…I was pregnant."

"…What?"

"I was pregnant…and I didn't tell you…" They came a little more easily now that I had told him. "I was afraid you would be angry...so, instead of telling you in the first place…I starved myself, trying to get rid of it…so you wouldn't have to worry…or anything…I couldn't possibly shame you with a child…" I wiped my eyes. "That was why I was in the tub so long…It miscarried while I was in the water…which is why I was screaming so loudly…I was going to tell you that I had it when I got out of the tub…but since I lost it…I didn't see the point any longer…"

He didn't respond.

"Before I lost it…I wanted it…I wanted to tell you…I wanted to give you a child…but I didn't take care of it…and it died…" I was sobbing. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He demanded, tears lining his eyes. "Hungary, that was just as much of my child as it was yours…I wouldn't have been upset! It's my fault too!" The water created a stream down his lovely face. The sunset made him even more gorgeous. "Yes…of course it would have been difficult…but I would have taken care of you…the both of you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried…I really did try…" I wiped my eyes, trying not to loose what little control I still had. "I can't count the times I tried to tell you…but I couldn't…every time I did…I just couldn't force the words to come out…"

and, we stayed quiet, just as we usually did in times like this. I realized he had good reasons to decide he no longer wanted to be with me. I had murdered the child he didn't even know about….and in the process I had caused him an unbearable amount of worry and pain. What man would want a woman like me? I didn't deserve these clothes, or even a place in his mansion…people like me belong in the street. But still, I want him to forgive me…I loved him madly and I didn't want to let any of that be thrown into the dirt…

"Austria…" I said finally, returning to numb as I had been the past two weeks. "I love you...and I love being with you…I love everything about you…" I paused to swallow. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry I've been so damn stupid…I'm not sure what I would do if you hated me…even if you have a definite right to. I would certainly hate me if I were in your position…I hate myself now…but please…don't leave me…" I was about ready to beg. "I know I've made a huge mistake…but I still want to be yours…That's all I want. You can dress me in rags and feed me gruel everyday…and I wouldn't care…just as long as I could call myself your woman…" I had succumbed to my misery and was crying once again.

He was silent a long while. "…In order to make a decision…I have to consider what you went through…it must have been horrible…"

"It was…" I said. "…I was so worried…almost every moment I worried…I didn't want to shame you with an unwanted pregnancy…I'm still a maid…no dress or chain of pearls can change that. The entire world is watching you…I couldn't tell you, even though I had tried and tried…" I paused. "…If the situation were different…I would have told the moment I found out for myself…maybe even before that…but…it's to early…" Another pause. "Honestly…I'd love nothing more than to have your children…but I can't…not now…"

"…You did what you did for my reputation?"

I nodded and he thought a moment.

"You care about me far too much…I can't say I would have been ready to be a father…but I would have liked to have known…but you're right…if the situation was different…I'd like to have a family with you…but as you said…it's too early…"

"I'm sorry…"

"…If something like this happens like this again…I want you to tell me…obviously…you suffered…and you didn't have to…I would have taken good care of you…I couldn't imagine going through something like that…but it doesn't have to be that way again. I wouldn't have been mad at you…of course…I would be shocked and somewhat horrified…but even married men feel that way when their women get pregnant…" His glance shifted to the grass. "I wouldn't have done something like leave you….even if the whole world is watching, I wouldn't care. Let them say what they want about me…You'd still be mine…"

I wasn't sure of what to say.

"…I'm a bit bothered by this…" He looked to me. "…But I know you wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for my sake…It's not right…but at least you have a reason…I can't say I wouldn't have done the same if I was in your place…" His eyes went to the sky, which was dappled with little lights. "It's hard to say what I would do…"

Again, I had no words.

"…I love you…and I'm sorry you suffered alone…"

"…That was my own fault, Love…" I finally said.

We stayed there a long while, watching the light fade and the stars come out with the moon, which was glowing like a firefly…We must have been there an hour before any of us actually had something to say.

"…Hungary…"

"…Yes?" Our voices were so quiet…it was almost as if we were two children sharing a dire secret.

"…Maybe…You'd like to get married one day…" He said. "…Perhaps not now…but…maybe in a few years…or maybe even months…I'm not sure…"

I looked at him through the darkness. I was…shocked…

"…I know it's too early now…but maybe we can take more time to get to know one another…and then we can actually start a family…I don't think I can see myself with any other woman…It wouldn't be the same…"

"…Austria…"

"…I love you, Lorelei…and I'm happy you told me…but please…you never have to do this to yourself again…because I'm sure in the long run, we'll end up being husband and wife anyway…" He took my hand and kissed my cheek. "…You're alright with that, aren't you?"

Instead of speaking, I wrapped myself around him, pressing my lips to his. We kissed for nearly an eternity.

"Hey! There they are!" The voice was Italy's. "I think they've been kissing this whole time…"

"…Well…They missed dinner…" There was a light with the two of them, and you could tell their hands were inside one another's.

"Shinsei Roma, have you ever been kissed? Everyone who gets kissed sure does seem to like it a lot…They would rather kiss than eat! And what if the meal was pasta?!"

"…I don't know…"

The two children approached us and I broke apart from Austria. "…Hello little ones…" I said. "Did we miss dinner?"

"Yes…" Shinsei Roma said, holding the lantern up to us. "…It's nearly nine…No one knows where you went…"

"…Well, we're here…" My darling kissed me on the lips and we stood up. "…Come on, Lorelei…Let's get something to eat…"

"Alright, Love…"

And that was that…We started over again, and again, I was forgiven. I was happy to be with him, and happy we would eventually be married…I knew we would be… because with each day, my love for him grew…I thought my heart might burst.

We would have a beautiful life together…That much was certain…


End file.
